Here is something that cannot be denied: Sean Rad is the CEO of Tinder. Here is something else that cannot be denied: Sean Rad, the CEO of Tinder, has no idea what sodomy is.

John Kasich enjoys a reputation as perhaps the most mainstream and down-to-earth Republican presidential candidate. He will cannily use this reputation to create a new U.S. Government Judeo-Christian Propaganda Agency—with beams.

Going against the advice of several Republican governors, France has decided to continue efforts to help thousands of Syrian refugees fleeing from terrorists.

In the latest issue of the ISIS English-language propaganda magazine Dabiq, the rogue terrorist organization illustrates how it says it bombed Russian Metrojet Flight 9268, which killed 224 people over Egypt earlier this month. According to ISIS, the bomb was contained in a can of Schweppes pineapple soda.

Lots of people say “fuck ISIS,” but how many people actually think about the Islamic State in the context of sexual excitement? Retired Army Col. Kurt Schlichter just penned a pornographic novella about killing hundreds of thousands of innocent Arabs. It is insane and bad and a must-read.

Yesterday, the SEIU, one of America’s strongest and most politically active labor unions, endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. Hmm.

Meet Jackie Biskupski, the openly gay mayor of Salt Lake City who just won the election campaigning on municipal issues, of all things.

French authorities say this morning’s raid on a Suburban Paris apartment came just in time to prevent “some kind of operation” the suspects were planning.

When police attempted to storm an apartment in the northern Paris suburb of St Denis early Wednesday morning, a woman wearing an explosive suicide vest detonated her device, the Associated Press reports, killing herself and another man. Seven other people were arrested.

An Italian journalist under criminal investigation by the Vatican was summoned to Vatican City this week, the Associated Press reports. The journalist, who published a book, based on leaked documents, about scandals at the Vatican, said Tuesday that he refused to answer a prosecutor’s questions.

According to The Guardian, reports are emerging of “heavy gunfire” in the Paris suburb of St. Denis. France’s iTélé reports the shooting is connected to the investigation into Friday’s attacks that revealed the possibility of a second, unidentified suspect.

Animal rights activists have sued Dixie Landin’ park in Baton Rouge, Louisiana to have a soda-guzzling, cigarette-smoking chimpanzee named Candy removed to an animal sanctuary, reports the Associated Press.

An overnight suicide bombing, thought to be the work of Boko Haram, left at least 32 people dead and around 80 wounded at a truck stop in northeastern Nigeria on Tuesday, the Associated Press reports. It had been three weeks since Nigeria’s last bombing.

Advisers to Ben Carson, a flannel pillowcase with aspirations of greatness, are ready to admit their candidate might be having a hard time grasping the complexities of foreign policy, reports the Associated Press.

During an oversight hearing on the Justice Department held by the House judiciary committee on Tuesday, The Guardian reports that U.S. attorney general Loretta Lynch said that there is “no data” to support the so-called “Ferguson effect.”

Confused and/or corrupt police in central Pennsylvania have been sued in federal court for holding a man in jail for 29 days over homemade soap they thought was cocaine, reports The Morning Call.

Before killing six people at an East Texas campsite this weekend, William Hudson, 33, befriended his victims and helped dig one of their vehicles out of some mud, Anderson County Sheriff Greg Taylor said Tuesday.

Investigators will not release video of the shooting of 24-year-old Jamar Clark, who died Monday night after being shot by police early Sunday morning, reports the Associated Press.

According to multiple reports, French police have begun searching for a second suspect in the Paris terror attacks that left 129 people dead last week.

And then there were oh-who-even-knows-how-many-there-still-are: Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal is dropping out of the 2016 presidential race, the Associated Press reports, hopefully to dedicate more time to conducting exorcisms.