Authorities say one of the masterminds behind the Paris attacks was more than just an evil mass murderer: he was also very messy.

Last week saw the successful debut of Gawker’s first podcast: “Food on Franklin.” Today brings another week, and with it, a new episode of this podcast to listen to.

Last night, Miss Cleo cosplay enthusiast Donald Trump told a crowd of supporters in Tennessee that he was able to predict terrorism in his 2000 book, The America We Deserve, because he “can feel it.”

As the GOP presidential hopefuls compete to see who can strike the toughest, most macho-looking anti-immigrant pose, we’ve witnessed Donald Trump’s “Operation Wetback,” thrilled to Ben Carson’s plan to Make Mexico Great Again, and heard Marco Rubio say “We can’t. We just can’t.” But here comes swaggering dicknose Chris Christie to deliver the hard truths those other pussies won’t: Not even an orphaned Syrian four-year-old would be allowed into the U.S. on his watch.

A new PR firm trend report says marketers will soon stop targeting millennials as a single group and “focus on reaching the younger consumers based on their passions.” What does this mean? Nothing, because PR trend reports are 100% bullshit. Stupid sellout millennials.

Russia on Tuesday joined France in bombing ISIS targets in Syria after confirming for the first time that a jet crash over the Sinai province earlier this month was caused by a bomb.

Charlie Sheen was diagnosed with HIV four years ago and has since paid millions of dollars to keep his diagnosis a secret, he told Matt Lauer Tuesday in a bombshell interview seemingly timed to beat a National Enquirer tell-all about his sex life.

Peter Nickeas of the Chicago Tribune tells the unbearably sad story of the funeral of nine-year-old Tyshawn Lee, who was lured into a Chicago alley by gang members and executed earlier this month. Read it.

SFGate has the horrifying story of a transgender woman in San Francisco who was savagely attacked by a couple Sunday night in the Mission District, for no apparent reason other than that she is a transgender woman. It’s the second time she’s been attacked in a year. Damn it.

Police said that the bodies of two newborn babies found dumped in a North Philadelphia alley early on Sunday morning had already been autopsied, according to Philly.com. However, foul play is not suspected in their deaths.

There are lots of great things about this video. Here they are, in descending order:

At last, there’s good news for those of us who live life in a series of coffee-breaks punctuated by periods of anxiety-filled withdrawal.

At a press conference on Monday, President Obama criticized those who have called for more invasive strategies in the United States and elsewhere to combat ISIS. “If folks want to pop off and have opinions about what they want to do, present a specific plan,” he said.

Early on Monday, the Associated Press reports, a bear in rural Maryland got his head stuck in a metal milk can.

Real-life comic book villain Rupert Murdoch emerged from the algae-encrusted slime cave he dwells in on Monday to give his sage musings on the news of the day.

Ready your smarm, all-too-vocal crypto-racist types! Georgetown University will rename two buildings previously named for school presidents who owned and sold slaves, reports the Washington Post.

A source with “direct knowledge” of the interview announced earlier today confirmed to CNNMoney that Charlie Sheen will discuss his HIV status with the “Today” show’s Matt Lauer on Tuesday morning. Meanwhile, TMZ reports that Sheen has been receiving treatment and the virus is now undetectable in his system.

An armed person put a stretch of blocks near the White House on high alert Monday, after she barricaded herself in a building in the wee hours of the morning.

A report from the Government Accountability Office says at least 2,043 known and suspected terrorists in the United States have legally purchased firearms between 2004 and 2014, according to the Washington Post.

Six people were killed at a campsite in rural Texas over the weekend, the Associated Press reports. Anderson County Sheriff Greg Taylor said that a suspect has been arrested and charged.