The Gossip Girl star would like some awards recognition, please. Also today: Leo DiCaprio taps into his murderous side, yet another CSI departure, and a Noah's Ark movie might be imminent.

For some time now, America-in-store-form Wal-Mart has been experiencing declining sales, despite its attempts to use all types of different items as hooks to lure shoppers back in. Great! But Target has problems too. Wherefore the big box store?

The $16 billion battle between retailers and banks over new caps on debit card swipe fees appears to have been won by... retailers! The Senate was unable to pass an amendment today that would've "delayed" (killed) the caps' implementation.

Welcome back to Midweek Madness. Every Wednesday, we schedule sexytime with gossip mags Ok!, Us, Star, In Touch and Life & Style. This week: Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston, Sean Penn and ScarJo, and Kim Kardashian's "graphic phone sex." [Jezebel]

The Koch-backed group Americans For Prosperity admitted to posting fake eviction notices on numerous Detroit homes Monday in order to "startle people" about a bridge project that the group opposes.

When a post appeared on blogger Amina Arraf's blog claiming she'd been kidnapped by armed gunmen, media around the world quickly picked up the dramatic story. But now questions are being raised about Arraf's identity. Does she even exist?

Barack Obama may have a Democratic primary opponent after all! But not really, is the thing. Terrifying anti-abortion activist Randall Terry is making good on his plan to challenge Barack Obama in Iowa, mostly over the president's long record of killing babies.

Last week we told you about Gawker Media's Summer of Love marriage equality fundraiser. While compiling our star-studded guest list of New York's best, brightest, and Real Housewifey-est, we realized there was someone very important missing: you!

In your sweltering Wednesday media column: the racial media gap unveiled, Chris Jones has a new column, NOTW apologizes to Sienna Miller, NBC gets the Olympics forever, and Bob Herbert gets a job.

No one actually reads those endless software license agreements, Apple's included. But we might listen to them, if Richard Dreyfuss could somehow be persuaded to read them in comically evil voices, as he did with the iTunes terms and conditions.

It looks like Rep. Michele Bachmann will be running for president, unless you hire a renowned campaign manager and plan a major rally in the Iowa town where you were born just to get a cruel laugh out of it. We shouldn't rule that out. But she seems ready to run, capable of doing well in Iowa, and willing to have her good friend and possible Iowa competitor Sarah Palin trashed through surrogates.

A recent online poll asked 30,000 thousand users of social networking site Badoo (so, not Americans basically) to pick the funniest and least funny countries from a list of fifteen, and the good old Red, White & Blue came out on top.

In the olden days, your parents used to smoke weed that was not chemically distinguishable from banana peels, which gave them a "hippy dippy" feeling, the most dangerous side effect of which was an affinity for neo-folk tunes. Today, you kids smoke chronic and shoot each other, or at least make up "freestyle raps" about same.

Now that suspected candidate Anthony Weiner won't be running for mayor of New York (for obvious reasons), rumors are swirling that Alec Baldwin is going to throw his hat in the ring. Is he really gonna run this time?

At 6 a.m. on Tuesday morning, Kenneth Wright of Stockton, California had his house door busted down by a SWAT team, who dragged him out of his house, held him down and handcuffed him, searched the house, and then took Wright and his three kids to a police station. The interesting thing about this: He had done nothing wrong! The SWAT team was just acting on a search warrant from the Department of Education to find Wright's wife, who'd defaulted on her student loans (See update below). But they're estranged, and she doesn't live there.

Gawker staff writer Maureen O'Connor appeared on ABC's Nightline on June 7, 2011. Check out the clip above. For media requests, please contact Kevin Prince at kevin@gawker.com.

In 2005, Dr. Helen Pilcher, the owner of a Ph.D. in Molecular Neurobiology who also happens to be a comedian, devised a mathematical formula to determine the success of a television sitcom. According to her, all you have to do is multiply the recognizability of the main character (r) by their delusions of grandeur (d), add that sum to the verbal wit of the script (v), then multiply the total by the amount someone falls over or suffers an injury (f). The difference in status between the highest and lowest characters is added (s), and the total is divided by the success of the show's scheme (a). Got that?

Nobody really expected the week to end without Anthony Weiner's penis splashed all over the internet. And here it is: Andrew Breitbart showed a couple of radio DJs a picture of what is likely Anthony Weiner's dick, then they leaked it on Twitter.

Today was Today show anchor Meredith Vieira's last day on the program. It was a very solemn occasion where they took time to recall her important moments like dancing with the Rockettes, falling down while ice skating, being attacked by Robin Williams and Russell Brand, polishing Colin Firth's trophy, and interviewing world leaders like Barack Obama and Miss Piggy.

Emma Watson's love life is lacking. Lady Gaga'a bodyguard beats up a fan. Suri Cruise's shoe collection is worth $150K. Chris Evans admits he is balding. Wednesday gossip intimidates men.