First, Rebecca Black's "Friday" video cost $2.99 to "rent" on YouTube. Then the video was set to "private." Did the pressure finally get to Rebecca Black? Is this part of Ark Music Factory's jihad against her?

Fat man surgery! Epilepsy drugs! Apple poison! DASH diet! Survival rates! Zany parenting! Pet allergies! Medication overdose! And breastfeeding because you love life! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—voraciously!

In an interview with his old Def Comedy friend Russell Simmons, embattled comedian Tracy Morgan expressed remorse about the ugly anti-gay statements he made during a recent show.

The easiest way to change the rules that apply to you is to just rewrite them yourself. So the FBI's done exactly that, self-releasing a new edition of its rulebook. Let's dig through some garbage, Fed bros! [Gizmodo]

Three key New York Democrats in the state Senate reportedly said Monday that they will support marriage equality legislation, an important reversal for Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D), who is pushing to bring the measure up for a vote by the end of the week.

John Ziegler, a talk-radio host and filmmaker whose zeal in defending Sarah Palin's every move and utterance over the past two years zoomed past advocacy and into creepiness has now done what all stalkers do eventually: He's decided if he can't have her, no one can.

The Houston Chronicle talked to a cartel trafficker this weekend, "in an interview arranged by intermediaries on the condition neither his name nor the location of his Texas visit be published." Anonymous Trafficker has either witnessed the most sadistic crimes imaginable, or is totally fucking with us:

When I clicked on Travel + Leisure's list of the America's Dirtiest Cities, I was hoping it would be ranked by which one had the most porn theaters. Instead, the magazine was referring to the places that are physically the dirtiest. The answer to that, well, it's not that surprising.

In your misty Monday media column: Michael Wolff vs. David Carr continues, as does the HuffPo's hiring spree, as does the growth of the class action suit against HuffPo, Gay Talese gives the NYT props, Time magazine has an apocalyptic "brand image," and AMI is for sale.

While the rest of NBC stations broadcast the new show The Playboy Club this fall, Salt Lake City-based KSL will be showing test patterns or scripture or something. They refuse to air the show, saying its subject matter is objectionable.

Sitting in an airplane on a tarmac in Detroit, lifelong Brooklynite Robert Sayegh turned to his seatmate and said, "What's taking so fucking long to close the overheard compartments?" Shortly thereafter, the pilot turned the airplane around. Police removed Sayegh from the plane for being "disruptive."

A mom and daughter are poised to make medical history—the daughter, born without a uterus, could receive her mother's as a transplant. [Jezebel]

Here's a strange video of a man beating up a fellow passenger shot through the window of a subway car. According to the description of the video, the fight (if you can call one dude getting beat about the head and neck repeatedly a "fight") erupted over a dispute over a subway seat.

Music filled the air on last night's episode of American Cheese Fries, warm, trilling, sonorous notes oozing down the long leafy streets, through the marble hallways of homes, across the river and into our ears. The food of love! Play on!

We've obtained a copy of Target's notorious internal anti-union propaganda video, which it shows to all new employees in America when they're hired. As far as we know, it can't be found online anywhere else.

According to a writer for the "Communities" section of the Washington Times, which apparently lets any old patriotic American sign up and start writin' against Sharia, Anthony Weiner is a Muslim. Of course he is!

The world politely averted its eyes when 17-year-old Taylor Momsen showed her nipple-taped boobs at a concert this weekend. Oops, did I say "politely averted its eyes"? I meant "took a million pictures and pretended to be outraged, thereby creating a flimsy excuse for publishing these perverted images."

Last night Oxygen debuted The Glee Project, the reality arm of Glee's multi-faceted media takeover where 12 kids compete for a role on the show. It had all the same problems that its parent show has, and was also leagues better.

Here's a tip for any New Jersey residents planning to drive their expensive Lamborghini to New York for next year's Puerto Rican Day Parade: Don't do it unless you like a couple of plainclothes policemen deeply probing your car. [Jalopnik]

Philippe Reines (pictured, at left) is Hillary Clinton's longtime adviser/ flack/ purse-toter. He's an inveterate gossip-spreader, self-promoter, and berater of reporters on behalf of his boss. And he loves to be recognized for his work! So the fact that Reines is profiled in the Washington Post today is not a surprise. What is a surprise: after all these years, Reines still has no idea how to not come off like an asshole.