Loveland, Colorado rancher Paul Ehrlich was annoyed by all the people rafting and tubing down the river that runs through his property, and trespassing all over his 60 acres. So he built a barbed-wire fence across the river to keep them away.
Have you ever wondered what a semi-nude Anthony Weiner would look like in a motorcycle sidecar or as a balloon float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade? Well, wonder no longer: On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert took the newly leaked pictures of Weiner and Photoshopped the congressman into "every possible scenario."
Even though he expressed a desire last week to move on from the Anthony Weiner scandal, yesterday's release of another set of salacious pictures of the congressman forced Jon Stewart to take up Weinergate once again on tonight's Daily Show. So, what did Stewart think of Weiner's meticulously manscaped body? As he put it, "We're Jews! When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there."
On June 2, Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez, a 53-year-old registered sex offender, rode his bicycle to the house of a 77-year-old woman who lived nearby in Refugio County, Texas. He broke in, and, wielding a knife, raped the woman. And then:
Tonight in New Hampshire, seven Republican candidates for president in 2012—including Michele Bachmann who just announced her candidacy—shared the stage for the primary season's first debate. The showdown was moderated by CNN's John King, who asked tough questions like "American Idol or Dancing with the Stars?"
Some people rob banks with guns. And other people are a little more creative: Police say an elderly woman robbed a bank last week by handing the clerk a note indicating that "she had AIDS and would give it to a teller if he didn't cooperate."
Someone is aggressively hyping Facebook to the financial community. Investors are being told the social network's value will double in 12 months — and quadruple over 18 months — to $100 billion. It sounds like someone has shares to unload.
In the wake of yesterday's revelation that Syrian lesbian blogger Amina Arraf was actually married American grad student Tom MacMaster, another lesbian blogger—the editor who first gave "Arraf" her platform—admitted to being a married man in Ohio.
What would President Obama do if he was caught sending pictures of his erect penis to women he met on the internet? "I can tell you that if it was me, I would resign," he told NBC's Ann Curry.
What once looked bright, briefly, has now darkened again. What will Love do? Also today: Good news for fans of The Killing, bad news for some fans of Game of Thrones, and Madonna gets picked up.
Preparing to wire swimming pool in suburban Minnesota, an electrician passed the time playing with his cellphone. He was videotaping a construction crane placing the pool into the homeowner's backyard when the crane tipped over, crushing the house and causing the most impassioned swearing spree I have ever heard on YouTube. (Fast forward to 1:50 for abridged version.)
Sure, bleeding heart PC types killed a bill earlier this year that would have allowed guns on college campuses in Texas. Consolation prize: Texas is "close to enacting" a new bill that will give school teachers detailed criminal histories of all their students. Because you never know when the next six-year-old will shoot up the school, or which kid's birthday party is actually cover for a cockfighting ring. Down in Texas, the legislators are armed, the merest whiff of lawbreaking gets you jailed, and prisoners get put down like dogs. You never know when one of these public school kids might get brainwashed by a Muslim textbook and start some serious jee-had. If our teachers can't have guns, well, at least we can "arm" them with the precise knowledge of just how evil these felons-to-be lurking in their classroom are. And also, maybe arm them with a knife?
