As if today weren't sufficiently SADurday enough: Retired U.S. Army general and former Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman died today in Washington state. He was 75.

City workers, joined by hired helpers from Ohio, have successfully fixed the North River Wastewater Treatment Plant, thereby stopping the flow of raw sewage that was poopifying New York's Hudson and Harlem Rivers. You can swim now. [Image via Flickr]

Last time we heard from Congressman David Wu, he was BlackBerrying pics of himself wearing a tiger costume to his employees and pursuing other strange activities that led several staffers to quit working for him. Now a young woman's accusing him of "aggressive and unwanted sexual behavior."

The British hacking scandal has raised many questions, none more pressing than which fictional evil elderly man does factually evil Rupert Murdoch resemble most? Emperor Palpatine? Mr. Burns? Voldemort? Here are the best pictures of Rupert Murdoch looking evil and you can judge for yourself.

We just told you about the bear who stuck its head in a jug and lost 85 pounds. Now a coyote pup's wandering around Washington state with a damn jar on its head and can't eat anything.

So you know how Walmart wants to move to a lot of big cities and how a lot of big cities don't want a Walmart? See the ongoing hoopla in New York over Walmart potentially coming to Brooklyn. Well, a local activist group in Washington, DC, wanted to make sure that in its local expansion plans, Walmart keeps the community in mind. NBC Washington reports:

It's happened to every biker. A flat tire in an inconvenient place on your commute, and the nearest bike shop is a long walk away. Most casual bikers don't carry extra tubes or tools with them; and so any repair work on the road can mean an end to a bike ride, and potentially leaving your bike locked up somewhere slowly rusting as you forget about it in your frustration. That's why the idea of the Bike Fixtation is so brilliant: a place for you to buy new parts and then install them yourself.

Besides biting zookeepers so that the police kill you, and eating frozen mealworm novelties, what are the most effective ways to beat the heat? Well, I don't personally know of any other methods besides those two, sorry. But St. Louis motorcyclist Jacob Southard seems to have adopted a winning coolness-keeping strategy, and it's even making him micro-famous!

British pop singer Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London home today, various news outlets are reporting.

Maybe you skipped town this past week to avoid the heat and you missed your favorite Gawker Media sites. Or maybe you just installed a shiny new A/C unit and you're ready for a distraction. Well, whatever the case, we've got you covered. Here are some of the most amusing and entertaining videos we watched during the hot-as-hell week that was.

Jennifer Aniston and her still quite new man go house-hunting. Arnold Schwarzenegger just signs whatever papers are in front of him. Lindsay Lohan partied with the Muscle Milk people at a beach. Today's Gossip Roundup is acting irresponsibly.

Police have charged Anders Behring Breivik, a 32-year-old right-wing extremist and Christian fundamentalist, as the suspected gunman in yesterday's massacre at Norway's Utoya Island youth camp—which left at least 85 people dead—and the bombing at the government headquarters in Oslo, which killed seven.

Today it is very hot. It is so very hot. It's just hot, y'know? Hot. How hot? Pretty hot, say our commenters. And everyone else. But here, just the commenters.

This video was uploaded to YouTube earlier today. And if I had to venture a guess, it looks like one young woman decided to beat the record-setting New York City heat by riding a Manhattan-bound D train completely naked from the waist down. No, it's not the most polite thing to do on the subway. But on a sweltering day like today, can you really blame her?

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As most of the country melts under the Heat Dome (screw you, Seattle), the best thing to do to beat the heat is head to the multiplex and sit in the arctic AC for a while. To entertain you this week we have a superhero, a super couple, and a supernatural tale of woe.

While Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez is getting treatment for cancer in Cuba, he's governing the country via Twitter. This says a lot about how much thought, preparation and patience goes into his presidential decisions. [AP, image via Getty]

Everything that Justin Timberlake owns is a sex something, so here's the New York City sex condo he just sold for $4.4 million. That figure is about 10% under what he bought the place for in 2008, but that slight loss is a drop in the bucket for the budding movie star.

Magnolia Bakery, the always-mobbed purveyor of dry cupcakes with too much frosting on them and only appealing to tourists who were hypnotized by Sex and the City to love them, now has permission to sell franchises, and it's aiming to spread its cancer across oceans.

President Obama certified the Pentagon's official notice of readiness to end the ban on gays in the military today. Members of the armed forces can start shouting about their gayness from the highest Afghani hilltops on September 20.