HBO has announced that they've ordered Aaron Sorkin's cable news drama More As This Story Develops (only a tentative title — one they really should change) to series. In it Jeff Daniels plays a cable news anchor struggling to do the news in this internet-fast infotainment world.

Ad hominem adultery harassment site Cheaterville.com is incensed. They wanted to run the above advertisement in the Toronto Sun during the Toronto Film Festival, but the Sun rejected them. Why ever would a newspaper reject a crude doodle of a stick-man butt-fucking a startled stick-lady atop a rectangular void with his giant club-shaped dick?

The Washington Post, America's leading journal of proctology, published this interesting scoop about Libya's deposed dictator in Wednesdays' edition. Ha ha. "Taint." [Rstevens via BoingBoing]

If there were any correlation whatsoever between cursing and profits, Carol Bartz would never have been fired from atop Yahoo. As things stand, she's swearing up a storm about how she was "fucked over."

Louisiana Sen. David Vitter is one of the members of Congress who's been bragging in the last few days about not attending President Obama's speech tonight — in his case, to hold a football-watching party at his house. But it probably wasn't a good idea to broadcast his lame flouting of congressional tradition! Because Sen. Harry Reid heard him, and now it appears that little David will have to stay in Washington after all.

In your luxurious Thursday media column: the WaPo has an explanation, Sam Sifton promotion rumors, licensing journalists is bad, MSNBC leans forward further, and tawdry speculation about our company's activities.

People move to big, bad New York City, puff out their chests, and declare that they're ready to take on the world. If they can make it here, they can make it anywhere! But they can't make it without a smiling babysitter paid to open the door for them. Or can they?

As if the throngs of screaming crowds weren't already bad enough in Times Square for New Year's Eve, it was announced today that Lady Gaga will perform at the annual event. Now it's just going to throngs of screeching teenage girls and homosexuals howling into the cold winter air for their idol. That's the last thing the city needs. And she's going to find a way to actually wear the dropping ball, isn't she?

The New York Times has assembled and posted more than two hours of military, air traffic, and airline radio communications—some of it never before heard in public—from the morning of September 11, 2001. It is depressing and fascinating.

Restaurateurs, meet your new overlord, Marissa Mayer. The Google honcho, fashionista and foodie just announced that the search giant has acquired the Zagat Guides, giving diners everywhere hope for reviews that suck slightly less than those on Yelp.

25-year-old Brian McCarthy of McLean, Virginia won $107 million in July's Mega Millions lottery. A tipster points out, and public records confirm, that he happens to be the son of Marriott, Inc. Group President Robert J. McCarthy, who earned $1.2 million in 2009.

Oh, Ireland, the land of my forefathers, interoffice harassment, and women who die after having sex with dogs. The latest news is that the government will pay real money to learn how to stick fake jewels on lady's naughty bits.

Rep. Michele Bachmann was unusually silent and uncared-about during last night's debate, in the latest sign that Rick Perry has completely eaten her lunch and all that's left for her campaign is a tragicomic, Norma Desmond-esque flameout. What can she do? Perhaps call a news conference to rebut Obama's speech tonight! Someone's got to do it. (Not really.)

Aging television presenter Joe Scarborough is so desperate for you to know that he's cool and plays guitar and likes Elvis Costello that he decided to defile the memories of all those who died on 9/11 and in its subsequent wars with this horrible fucking song that will make you crack your teeth open with rage if you listen to it. Serving as a foot soldier for Newt Gingrich and rushing to the defense of an abortion doctor's murderer are no longer the worst things Scarborough has ever done. Playing rock star with dead people is.

Recently the Fox Sports show The College Experiment did a segment (above) in which they basically said Asian students at USC are weird foreigners because they don't care about football. Well, they will be not be making fun of anyone, of any kind, anymore.

This elk, of Gothenburg, Sweden, has a problem. His girlfriend broke up with him and he lost his job in ER (Elk Resources) all in the same day. What's an elk who's fallen hard, and I mean hard, on his luck to do but give in to the demons and drink his suffering away? We've all been there so enough with the quiet judging. Unfortunately however, this elk indulged in tee many appletoonis and wound up trapped in an apple tree singing several verses of "Drunken Sailor." He was discovered by Per Johansson, who upon returning home from work, heard the elk and went to investigate.

Page Six Magazine, august journal of taste and glamour, this weekend will feature a blowout article on a profoundly influential group of power brokers, "Modern Mad Men," a.k.a. people who tweet professionally. Because there really is no job more elegant than social media manager, right?

Simon Cowell fondly recalls a successful date with "wacko" Denise Richards. Did Lady Gaga hook up with a tween idol? Madonna defends her right to hate hydrangeas. What did Ali Lohan do to her face? Thursday gossip has questions.

Why is health care so goddamn expensive in the United States? One major factor is that "Doctors are paid higher fees in the United States than in several other countries," according to a new study. Related: Doctors demand a raise!

After years of hearing their gay friends rave about the mobile, GPS-enabled hook-up app Grindr, straights finally have their own version, released today. It's called Blendr, and it's a horrible idea.