Swedish Elk As Think As You Drunk He Is
This elk, of Gothenburg, Sweden, has a problem. His girlfriend broke up with him and he lost his job in ER (Elk Resources) all in the same day. What's an elk who's fallen hard, and I mean hard, on his luck to do but give in to the demons and drink his suffering away? We've all been there so enough with the quiet judging. Unfortunately however, this elk indulged in tee many appletoonis and wound up trapped in an apple tree singing several verses of "Drunken Sailor." He was discovered by Per Johansson, who upon returning home from work, heard the elk and went to investigate.
According to Johansson, the elk had been on a bender all day; a friend of his spotted the animal earlier when she nearly ran him over with her car. He turned, and with grief in his eyes and loss in his heart, screamed something indecipherable at the driver. He then meandered off into the apple orchard in search of more fermenting apples. The elk knows full well that he will never get her back this way, but he doesn't care. The only thing that matters is finding something to dull the inescapable pain gnawing at his insides.
By the time Johansson came upon him later that evening, the elk was so entangled in the tree, limbs and branches akimbo, the fire department was called to aid in his rescue. And rescue him they did. After several failed attempts to walk, the elk collapsed on the ground, trapped in a drunk and miserable prison of his own making, where he remained until morning. Then, just as the sun's first rays began to warm the cold earth, did he manage to lift himself off the ground to drag his ass home. Where, for the first time in a long time, no one is waiting up for him.
[Image via Gustav Johansson]