The folks at British Pathé have just posted this video, filmed in Paris in 1949, in which the (unionized) members of Monsieur Roberts' Tame Flea Circus fleas pull miniature cars and bicycles, lift weights, and cause a whole roomful of people to scratch themselves. Also, a man arranges a bunch of car-carrying fleas on his arm into a traffic formation. Considering how bloodthirsty fleas usually are, this is way more daring than any of the circus tricks.

So far 18 people have died from killer cantaloupes tainted with listeria, out of at least 100 cases. Now, the good news: most of the death melons are out of the food supply by now. Deep breaths. [Image via Shutterstock]

Everybody say "dobry den" (that's "hello") to SuperVaclav (not to be confused with Super Vaclav, or OtherVaclav)—the Czech Republic's latest superhero, and the only one we know of whose primary superpower involves smearing dog poop on impolite dog walkers and then running away before he gets his ass kicked.

Remember how L.A. firefighters offered up the use of their truck to a porn company who used it to make cinema? Their artistic collaboration happened in 2008, so they're off the hook under the city charter's statute of limitations.

On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert surveyed the current Republican presidential field with a disapproving eye—even referring to longtime favorite Rick Perry as "Texas Toast"—before revealing his plan to support New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. If only Christie hadn't already decided to not enter the race!

Well, this was uncomfortable. On tonight's Late Show, David Letterman interviewed '80s movie star-turned-alcoholic flameout Sean Young. The chat was bizarre from the onset—Young described disciplining her teenage sons with a horsewhip—and then turned downright sad as Young pleaded for work with anyone who'd consider hiring her. The saddest part? The video clip that Young shared of her dressed up in a Catwoman suit, screaming "I'm not crazy!" to random passers-by.

U.S. forces used a combination of spy drones and bomb-handling robots to help beat back Iraq's insurgents. Now, those militants have a warning for those American troops still remaining in Iraq: We've got robots, too.

So, like, Kim Kardashian and her husband Kris Humphries were totally on The Tonight Show this evening and, like, they were sitting there and stuff and then Jay Leno asked Kim about things Kris does that, like, annoy her and she was all "He totally barks like a dog!" So then Kris goes, "Nuh-uh" and she was all "Um, yeah," and then we all shook our heads in collective shame for allowing these people to become famous.

So, here is the kind of care you can expect if you are a migrant worker in China who cuts off his own thumb in an accident: The doctor will, over your objections, replace the missing thumb with one of your toes. Aaaaand... that's basically it. You say your foot hurts and your new thumb-toe is useless? No, sorry, that's actually not true: "Huiyang Bone-setting Hospital... insists that the thumb has recovered." We tend to agree with this commenter: "Strongly recommended that the doctor transplant his buttocks onto his head!" [ChinaSmack]

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's confirmation today that he would not seek the 2012 Republican presidential nomination was a relief to Mitt Romney, who stood to lose out most if Christie entered the race. But as Jon Stewart explained on tonight's Daily Show, Romney's history of switching positions on key issues stands in his way more than a fat guy from Jersey ever could: "Mitt Romney has a bit of a problem... to win the Republican nomination, he has to convince Republican voters he's not actually Mitt Romney."

Meet Amy Blose, a 37-year-old married mother of two who was arrested this week for attempting to contact a 13-year-old boy who she's been accused of sexually assaulting. Her method of contact: Burrito.

Probably no one has ever been happier to see Seattle than Amanda Knox was this when she touched down at Tacoma this evening, a day after having her murder conviction overturned in Italy.

Asked about his iPad, Barack Obama made sure ABC News' George Stephanopoulous knew "Steve Jobs actually gave to to me a little bit early. Yeah, it was cool. I got it directly from him." Then he blushed, swear to God.

West Virginia's acting governor, Democrat Earl Ray Tomblin won tonight's special gubernatorial election despite the fact that, according to his opponent, he loves Obamacare, loves it so much he wants to gay-marry it. There'll be another election in 2012. [AP]

Arianna Huffington found the name "PopEater" tacky, so she threw everyone overboard and shut the AOL entertainment site down. That, at least, is the unauthorized message Huffington's former minions published to the world via Huffington's servers.

Anarcho-Doritologist hacker collective has declared war on the New York Stock Exchange and will launch a "raid" on the company's website on Monday, October 10! Or is "Operation Invade Wall Street" a "fake planted operation"? Or maybe it doesn't really matter either way.

Today we heard a little anecdote, as a means of showing how women's friendships work, about a group of Tennessee ladies who get up at 5:15am every day to go hike. 5:15? To exercise?? Oh hellll no, said one commenter.

Hank Williams, Jr., took to his website to apologize for his "dumb Statement" yesterday comparing President Obama to Hitler. "I am very Sorry if it Offended anyone," he writes. "This was Not written by some Publicist." You don't say, Hank.

Before he died, designer Alexander McQueen was always the wackiest show on the fashion calendar. Now in her third ready-to-wear collection, Sarah Burton did not disappoint during the label's presentation in Paris today. There were boob-less dresses, lots of frills, and all sorts of insane shit on the model's faces.

TV's favorite serial killer is in a contract dispute with his network. Also today: good news about Matt Saracen, weird news about Werner Herzog, nostalgic news from Disney, and half-bad news from NBC.