There are questions among the hacktivist collective Anonymous whether today's planned attack against the New York Stock Exchange's website in support of Occupy Wall Street is an elaborate trick to entrap participants or smear the movement. Whatever! It's still apparently kicking off less than two hours from now.

In an abandoned Army base on the edge of the California desert, hundreds of recession-weary Americans camp out and wait for the hard times to blow over. Life in "Slab City," with no plumbing or electricity, is deemed preferable to life amongst the driftless unemployed masses in the wider world. Where is your Slab City?

The wonderfully titled MrPotatoHeadNews was biking home last night across the Manhattan Bridge when he stumbled upon this man jumping rope nude on the bridge. Why would someone do something so, ahem, nuts?

Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher, the Ohio hobo who got famous by asking Barack Obama one boilerplate question on the 2008 campaign trail, has filed to run in Ohio's 9th congressional district! His presidential campaign can wait until 2016.

Rick Perry's high production value filmmaker (whom Perry stole from loser Tim Pawlenty) has released his latest, scariest opus, just in time for Satan's birthday, Halloween.

What do you get when you mix throngs of revelers on a downtown roof, a celeb DJ, made-to-order tacos, a slew of glow sticks, dumplings served out of an actual rickshaw, copious amounts of liquor, and more Pop Rocks than anyone should have access to? Oh, you know, just a typical Thursday night at the good ol' H.Q. Last Thursday Gawker Media hosted an event demurely known as "FuX THE NOISE"—our second-annual silent disco.

Yup, the boxing robot movie was top dog robot this weekend, with little competition in sight. Politics came in second and, somewhere far down the list, lurched the human centipede.

Two of America's straightest men had a nice hang the other day. Also today: Leo cozies up to even more models, Bree Olson quits the game, Prince Harry eats a burger, and Melanie Griffith eats a hotdog.

Of all the arguments Occupy Wall Street critics' deploy, the most entertaining is the issue of public health and sanitation at the protests' headquarters. As they tell it, the protests are a steaming pile of human excrement, used condoms and sinfully bare breasts.

Girls—the middle school denizens who think they're so cute but they're not—are so stupid that they fill up their lockers with all types of dumb decorations, according to a report today by the New York Times.

This actor made an advance on his costar by barging into a trailer in the buff. These two famous gentlemen are into the booger sugar and this television set is full of drama. Let's just hope they have locks on the trailer doors.

Bad news for those of you planning to ride out this recession on a diet of peanut butter and jelly, spread atop tiny Saltine cracker "sandwiches," consumed by candlelight in the single dry corner of your leaky urban squat, as the howls of alley cats and junkies serenade you with the symphony of the night: peanut butter is now out of your price range.

In China, authorities don't fall for all those Wal-Mart okey doke bait-and-switch now-you-see-it-now-you-don't sleight of hand shell games, so to speak. They know your pork is cheap ass pork, Wal-Mart.

It hasn't even been a month since Netflix announced it was renaming its DVD-by-mail services Qwikster, and yet the company has already decided to shit-can the whole plan. Aw! Splitting into two companies and confusing everyone seemed like such a good idea.

Ohio police have arrested at least three men suspected of participating in a string of break-ins in which the victims have also had their beards and hair cut off and stolen. Authorities believe the mastermind behind the attacks is "renegade bishop" Sam Mullet, who leads a tiny Amish sect called the Bergholz Clan.

Mimes: What are they good for? Oh, so many things! They bring laughter and joy to everyone who encounters them. They help the white makeup industry stay financially afloat. Sometimes they make precious balloon animals. And most importantly, they know how to combat traffic in high-density urban areas, which is why Caracas, Venezuela has just unleashed 120 of them into the streets.

When NYPD Sgt. Michael Miller found himself at the end of a .38 caliber revolver the other night, he just stuck his ring finger right in there, between the hammer and cylinder, and prevented the gunman from shooting him in the gut.

In Oregon, two teen friends alleviated their boredom by grabbing their trusty hatchets, heading to a local city park, and chopping down trees—just like you used to do when you were a bored teen, back in the 1760s.

It's been a different world for Glenn Beck ever since he vacated his post at Fox News, under the vaguest of circumstances. (Certainly, Roger Ailes bluntly and dismissively telling an AP reporter that he only hired Beck because he "was hot and got ratings" didn't help much to mend fences.) But life goes on for America's foremost babbling dipshit. One simply pumps oneself up with a rousing selection from the original cast recording of Spider-Man: Switch Off the Lights, silently wishes a painful and prolonged death upon one's enemies (all 85 million of them), and then steps out onto the stage of a near-empty ballroom at the Omni Shoreham Hotel in Washington, D.C., for a scheduled appearance at the 2011 Values Voter Summit.

California Gov. Gerald "Jerry" Brown, Jr. cleared his desk of over 140 bills in time for a midnight deadline. The guy's a bill-signin' and vetoin' demon! Here's a partial list of shiny, new California laws: