In case you were thinking about heading to Britain and having a ton of unprotected sex—don't! Because the United Kingdom's Health Protection Agency believes that its septic little archipelago is "heading to a point when [gonorrhea] is incurable unless new treatments can be found."

In an interview that aired on Australian television last night, Beyonce revealed that she's due to give birth in February.

Steve Jobs, the Zune, and Arista, Jive, and J Records are no longer with us. But in their wake, there is a wealth of new music out on a variety of labels to listen to with Apple and (remaining) Microsoft products. While we're on the subject, we might as well talk about some of it.

Today we discovered that, holy crap, little girls like decorating their lockers at school. And, turns out, so did some of you! Or your daughters do. Let's look at some anecdotes.

Remember the crazy tale of Bethenny Frankel, her husband, some friends, and a Bravo camera crew going for a three (OK, eight) hour boat tour and being lost at sea for 20 hours. Too crazy to be true, right? Well, now one of her rescuers is claiming it was all staged.

As we mentioned earlier, right-wing hitman James O'Keefe was spotted lurking at the Occupy Wall Street protest in Manhattan's Liberty Plaza today. That might not be good news for O'Keefe, since he's on probation and requires the permission of a federal magistrate judge to leave his home state of New Jersey. And guess what? To judge by his court file, he never got permission. Oops.

Science stars! Kraken lair! Saturn rings! Persistent chemist! Envious mind! Foreign insects! Baltimore telescope! Ancient language! And a serious geological epochal debate! It's your Monday Science Watch, where we watch science—perilously!

It took a whole fleet of NYPD officers, both uniformed and in plainclothes, to take down just a handful of young women at the 125th St 2/3 subway station on Friday night. Between the bumbling cops and the screeching girls, no one here ends up looking good.

Good news for disenchanted liberals who are resting their last electoral hopes on the Massachusetts Senate campaign of consumer advocate Elizabeth Warren! She raised $3.15 million in her abbreviated third quarter, doubling Sen. Scott Brown's total.

The rumors were true: Doltish conservative stuntman James O'Keefe was hanging out at Occupy Wall Street today. No doubt he was dreaming up another hilarious sex imprisonment fantasy prank that proves liberals suck. We've got video.

Kanye West was spotted down at Occupy Wall Street today. In a bold display of solidarity with the 99% it seems he downgraded his diamond teeth to gold ones for the day. [via SallyPancakes]

Some parents and New York legislators have their panties in a wad over Pot Pops and other marijuana-themed candies that are marketed to children. They say this encourages kids to use drugs. Please, like this is new? Pixy Stix, anyone?

America's finest colleges and America's finest corporations aren't all that different: they're both sitting on huge piles of cash, complaining about the economy, and soaking you, the consumer, for all you're worth. Simultaneously!

The folks who run Camden County, Georgia are weighing a hot new proposal in the reemerging market of slave labor: Inmates as firefighters! Get it? You get the inmates to put out the fires, and then you don't have to pay firefighters. What's not to like about this depressing tale from the age of austerity?

Today is Columbus Day in case you weren't aware. What a stupid holiday! Nothing against Columbus (other than the fact he was a dirty colonist who killed off millions of Native Americans) but taking an entire day to celebrate him is a total waste. And there's a whole list of other holidays and celebrations we should get rid of. Let's look.

In your sparkling Monday media column: Sean Hannity mulls the end, NPR's chief hints at post-government funding, Bill Keller's split personality, magazine ad revenue report, and Conde Nast goes Hollywood.

The wheezing gophers over at Fox News' Fox & Friends spent a good deal of time this morning talking about the Occupy Wall Street protests, and then, as a service, decided to "give us a flavor" of just who's doin' this crazy thing.

The Republican party's latest affection in its presidential candidate speed-dating process, Herman Cain, is not and does not pretend to be this cycle's "foreign policy candidate." He doesn't want to be, and you can't make him! Instead, when quizzed about international relations, he will just mock his own lack of knowledge. That's his winning charm, maybe?

According multiple reports on Twitter, overgrown College Republican James O'Keefe is at Occupy Wall Street, filming one of his political make-em-up videos. Come on, James, this is so predictable. [Updates below]

Well that's it! After approx. six hundred and twenty-nine episodes, the third season of Bravo's documentary about prison escapees has come to a groaning end. What was all brightness and warmth ended in rot.