Not recreational drugs, which are in seemingly endless supply, but about 180 medications used to treat cancer, bacterial infections, and other serious illnesses. It's the dysfunctional marketplace's fault again! The marketplace doesn't care about your cancer.

How, big, grand, and downright awesome is the November issue of Rachel "Rachael" Ray's magazine, Every Day With Rachel "Rachael" Ray? So god damn awesome that they decided to charge subscribers double for it! From the NYT:

In 2008, on Martin Luther King Day Eve, Ohio State Trooper Eric E. Wlodarsky took a picture of a fellow trooper dressed up in "Ku Klux Klan-like garb" (small photo) and sent it to a sergeant as a prank. For extra bonus laffs, he did this while he and the other officer were both on duty.

Hawaii residents Nicole and Marcin Leszczynski recently went to jail and lost custody of their daughter for about 18 hours, all because they forgot to pay for a $5 sandwich at the Safeway. If their story were a Lifetime movie it would be titled Police State in Paradise.

This YouTube—which quickly becomes audio-only—captures the odd arrest of Jonathan Meador, a Nashville Scene reporter who was covering the October 28 police crackdown on the Occupy Nashville protest when Tennessee Highway Patrol officers arrested him and and charged him with public intoxication and criminal trespass. The officers discuss charging Meador with resisting arrest—even though he doesn't sound like he was resisting arrest.

Ruth Madoff appeared on 60 Minutes this evening for her first interview since her husband Bernie was arrested nearly three years ago for perpetrating the largest financial crime in U.S. history.

In today's episode of Gatineau 911, Quebecois law enforcement, lights flashing and sirens blaring, manage to surround a cow wandering around the road in a small community near Ottawa. They then fire at it ten times, all of which was captured on video by horrified onlookers.

A 27-year-old flight attendant for US Airways was discovered early Saturday morning, strangled to death in his room at the Hilton in Mexico City, where he was staying on a layover.

On October 4th, a stray Beagle mix in an overcrowded animal shelter in Florence, Ala., was loaded into a gas chamber with 18 other dogs marked for death. 21-year-old Cody Berry, the worker assigned this awful task, locked the door, turned a key and pressed a button that releases carbon monoxide into the chamber. He returned later, The Star-Ledger reports, and heard something moving inside the chamber.

Every day, celebrities across the world are followed and photographed by the omnipresent paparazzi, often to entertaining results. Here are some of our favorite shots from the past week.

Bumbling Republican frontrunner Herman Cain barely had a moment to enjoy a celebratory gust of second-hand smoke after squeezing ahead of the pack at the Iowa caucuses when Politico detonated a giant stink-bomb of an exclusive: Two women who had worked with Cain when he headed the National Restaurant Association in the '90s complained to co-workers and senior association officials of "inappropriate" and "sexually suggestive" behavior directed at them by Cain.

The Blue Code of Silence might be stronger than ever within the NYPD, but in Florida, cops aren't just snitching on other cops — they're chasing them down the Florida Turnpike at speeds in excess of 120 miles per hour, pulling them over, and reading them the riot act before placing them under arrest.

We've all thought about tricking the person we're currently dating into marrying us at a wedding that we've organized in secret, haven't we? No? Oh. Well, Cherie Butler of New Zealand had the idea—and just yesterday demonstrated that it's not always a wrong-headed or crazy one.

In Los Angeles, a Halloween reveler dressed up in a Smurf costume crossed paths with some alleged gang members and ended up getting shot in the calf, round-the-clock Halloween news source the L.A. Times reports. The Smurf had only been trying to help his girlfriend—who was also dressed as a Smurf—after one of the so-called gang members had punched her; he's now in stable condition.

The Zetas—a Mexican drug cartel believed to be responsible for numerous beheadings, murders, and acts of mayhem—got on the wrong side of the hacker collective Anonymous after allegedly kidnapping one of their members in Veracruz. Now Anonymous has issued an ultimatum: Release our man by November 5, or we'll expose your identities, addresses, and allies.

The celebrities have begun trickling out of their castles, mansions, and forest lairs to host or hit up Halloween parties, collect their high-calorie holiday booty, and inspire jealousy-driven shut-ins like us to mock their outfits.

Here's a video of upscale men's workwear model Rick Perry accepting a jug of maple syrup at an event in New Hampshire. Now, we're not saying that he's definitely drunk, we're just saying, watch the whole thing. Or, if you don't have time, skip ahead to around 2:20, because that's where it starts getting really drunk. I mean, good. Really good. This is how animated GIFs get made, folks! [via Mother Jones]

Breakups are bad news, as we all know. Who here hasn't spent a week binging on raw cookie dough and episodes of The Good Wife after getting dumped? Or gotten behind the wheel of his cab, naked and drunk, and crashed into 17 cars?

Just because Herman Cain '12 made an ad featuring chief of staff Mark Block as some kind of kooky, hatless Marlboro Man does not mean that you should start smoking, or that smoking will make you look like a suave campaign operative, or any such thing. No, the takeway of that commercial was this: "let people be people," and also (and more importantly?) "Mark Block smokes."

Today's New York Times features a contribution from Steve Jobs' sister, the novelist Mona Simpson: the eulogy she gave at her brother's funeral. It's one of the better things we've read in the wake of Jobs' death—if we have to read platitudes, we'd rather they be written by someone who knew and loved him personally—and in it Simpson writes about her brother's final hours: