Uh-oh: The name of Italian prime minister and oversexed jack-o-lantern Silvio Berlusconi shows up in the U.S. State Department's Trafficking in Persons 2011 report. Can you guess why? If you said, "Hmmmm, well I bet it's because he had illegal relations with that Moroccan 17-year-old dancer, Karima El Mahroug, at his haunted villa of horrors," then reward yourself with a handful of delectable Mellowcreme pumpkins, because you are right.

Riot squads! Rubber bullets! Pepper spray! Pushing and shoving! Arrests! All these ingredients made for a tough and tense weekend for Occupy protesters in Denver, Portland, and Austin—three American cities known for being more liberal and open-minded than most. What happened? Maybe they're dressing up as police states for Halloween.

George Clooney's ex-girlfriend has some interesting things to say about their relationship. Hilary Swank is firing everyone for letting her go to a war criminal's party. Ashley Biden is engaged. Sunday gossip values Elisabetta Canalis' feminine side, too.

A 17-year-old woman was found hanging from a noose inside the "Creepyworld" haunted house attraction in Fenton, Mo. last week—possibly being mistaken by customers for a prop.

A nor'easter hit the, uh, Northeast yesterday, like, October 29 yesterday, dropping as many as 19 inches of snow on a region stretching from Pennsylvania through New England in what was for most places a record-breakingly early snowstorm. Three people died overnight—an 84-year-old man was killed by a falling tree, a 20-year-old man accidentally touched a downed power line, and a third person was killed in a Connecticut traffic accident—and at least 2.3 million people were left without power.

The trial of former Egyptian dictator Hosni Mubarak won't start until late December, after another court rules on replacing the current presiding judge. Mubarak, confined to a sick bed, is on trial for allegedly ordering the killing of protesters.

Rick Perry's favorite movie is Immortal Beloved, the 1994 Beethoven biopic starring Gary Oldman. (Mitt Romney's: O Brother Where Are Thou.) Why Immortal Beloved and not, say, Dead Man Walking? He doesn't explain, so we're welcoming theories in the comments.

All Adam Eubank's brother wanted to do was barbecue a raccoon. He did not intend to get anyone into trouble. But police heard about the raccoon-meal preparations—which took place out in the open, behind their apartment building—and found some buckets of "an unknown material" related to meth-making on the premises. And so the night was ruined.

If you're one of the nation's top "foreclosure mill" law firms—representing Citigroup, JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America and Wells Fargo in their attempts to foreclose on homes and evict homeowners—what better way to celebrate Halloween than by throwing a party where everyone comes as a dirty, homeless victim of your practice?

Have you ever seen this kind of woven bracelet before? Supposedly all the kids are wearing these things now—errrrr, I mean, planning on wearing them, soon, very soon, like any day now. It's so they can smoke their weed and get high, to spite you!

Come join James Franco for a James Dean-themed sex-doll orgy-slash-art-project! Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are married... or are they?! And Justin Timberlake has a crush. Saturday gossip is a rebel, Saturday gossip is a rebel, Saturday gossip is a rebel.

Remember our pals Alex Torres the porn actor and his receptionist friend Hope Powell, who did sex during a skydiving trip, posted a video of their shenanigans on the Internet, and caught the attention of the Federal Aviation Administration? The FAA has concluded its investigation of their adventurous mating habits and decided that, because the copulating couple didn't distract their pilot, they broke no federal rules. So if you saw Torres' video and thought that skydiving sex seemed worthy of exploration, go ahead and try it out, I guess. Just leave the pilot out of it. Oh, and you can leave your video camera at home. Seriously, we won't mind at all if you keep your sexxxploits to yourself. [NBC San Diego]

Maybe you were swamped at the office this week and couldn't check your favorite Gawker Media sites. Or maybe you're about to go back to work and could use one last distraction. Whatever the case, we've got you covered. Here are some of the best videos we watched during the week that was.

"When you're a Domino's manager you're a Domino's manager all the way, from your first cigarette to your last fiery hit on a Papa John's outlet that results in arson charges for you and your colleague." This is how the song might go today, if West Side Story were set in modern-day Florida and about rival corporate pizza chain crews instead of New York City gangs.

Hundreds of off-duty cops showed up in the Bronx on Friday to protest the indictment of corrupt colleagues on ticket-fixing charges. Among the slogans on their signs: "Just Following Orders." Doesn't that sound... familiar?

Gaddafi son Saif al-Islam is on the run! He's talked to the ICC, which is warning him not to flee to a friendly nation. "He says he is innocent," prosecutor Luis Moreno-Ocampo tells Reuters. No need for a trial, then!

Hey there, African-Americans! Did you know there's a whole political party devoted more or less entirely to increasing the wealth of the richest people in the country by preying on the racism of middle- and working-class white folks? And if that doesn't convince you to vote for Republicans, what about these snazzy billboards?

Today we learned that Lifetime's crown jewel, America's Next Top Model, is bringing us a très chic scent. But what could "Dream Come True" possibly smell like? One commenter knows the make-up of the powerful fragrance.

Halloween isn't until Monday, which means that you still have a couple of days to slap together a quick costume. And do you know what kind of costume is quicker than quick? The kind you buy at a store. No, it's not very creative—and navigating overcrowded costume shops this weekend won't be fun—but at least you'll be appropriately dressed at any Halloween party you attend.

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