Last year, veteran TV news producer Joe Halderman was sentenced to six months in jail for pulling a failed $2 million blackmail scheme on David Letterman, who was having an affair with a staff member. Now, the ID Discovery network's "On the Case With Paula Zahn" has hired Halderman as a producer. He's experienced, so he should be fine, as long as he does not blackmail Paula Zahn for $2 million.

So the New York Times' Dining section wrote one of those things for Southern food yesterday that it writes for every type of food, at one point or another: How there's a new wave of chefs trying to revive traditional fare with more expensive and local ingredients, etc. "They want to reclaim the agrarian roots of Southern cooking," the Times writes, "restore its lost traditions and dignity, and if all goes according to plan, completely redefine American cuisine for a global audience." Again: This is a standard Times food article template with "Southern food" plugged in.

Meet Benedict Cumberbatch. He's been in a zillion BBC productions, was Scarlett Johansson's husband in The Other Boleyn Girl, and will soon play a spy in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. He parents are famous British actors, and he has white girl problems:

Men do recessions like, "Aww shit, it's a recession up in here, nothing but crappy jobs out there, guess I'll just keep working this crappy job I have, nothing else to do, stone cold watching some football and drinking brews with the fellas, because my life is a beer commercial." But women do recessions like, "Considering these dead end prospects in the current job market, I shall instead return to school to further my education and enhance my employment prospects for the future." Ladies are crazy!

Sure our collective crazy Irish aunt Sinead O'Connor admitted that her "mad search" for some pot on her wedding night helped lead to her breakup with her latest husband after only 16 days, but there is more to the story. Well, just change "pot" with "crack" and you have the whole story.

If you die in a horrific train accident, be sure to aim your severed body away from any bystanders. That's the lesson from the sad, bizarre case of Hiroyuki Joho, whom a court has ruled can be sued for injuries caused by his own body parts when he was killed by a train.

Boy, 2011: there sure was a lot of music, wasn't there? A lot of good music, even! But probably not even you, Cool Internet Guy, who heard all the cool and good music, have listened to all of it. It's okay! Here are ten great music things from this year that you should have heard—and for some reason didn't.

This actor has a public girlfriend, but really has a thing for her famous mother. A slew of celebrities are getting engaged or breaking up (as always) and a blind item of our very own, about a hunky star discussing his sexual conquests. Enjoy!

There comes a time in the life of every freedom-loving person when he is forced to stand on his own two feet and make a very fundamental choice: Velveeta Cheesy Skillets, or Hamburger Helper? That time is now, Americans. Will you rise to the challenge?

Occupy activists are building their own more flexible and trustworthy Facebook, using of old formats, authentication protocols and open source software. But 2012's hottest login will require an invitation, so you better start attending those interminable General Assembly meetings today.

A Cardozo student spent half a year living on the street because "I wasn't satisfied, my life just felt meaningless because I didn't have really any challenges." Noting that Neaderthals probably didn't experience boredom, he quit paying for his apartment and started sleeping on the street.

I go to the movies a lot. Just about every week, in fact. Rather than just telling you the best and worst movies of the year, I thought it would be fun to rank every single movie I sat through in a movie theater in 2011. Here's the complete list.

Better fire some more liberal opera show hosts and soon, Corporation for Public Broadcasting, because President Romney's got plans for you. Oh, he's got plans alright:

The New York Times says it didn't send a mass email erroneously telling loads of people their subscriptions were expired. But all indications are that the message originated from the paper or its approved vendor, likely as a mistake.

Will the Occupy movement destroy the comely state of Iowa? Considering that they plan on interrupting a few caucuses and hollering in some offices, one can safely assume... no. But whatever they're planning on doing, it's apparently enough to scare the Iowa Republican party into secret bunkers, where they'll be safe from this nefarious grasp of "political activists."

Feel like you deserve to be mourned by thousands of starving, hysterically sobbing North Koreans? Ever wanted to see an enormous portrait of your face being driven on the back of a 1976 Lincoln hearse? Well now you can, thanks to the magic of Photoshop!

Fascinating experiment in professionalized ego-blogging Thought Catalog has finally figured out the secret of life. "Wonder What The Secret Of Life Is," Brandon Scott Gorrell muses in the title of a post that begins with a quote from Atlas Shrugged. (Then apologizes for beginning with a quote from Atlas Shrugged.)

All of us working stiffs who have to report to the office on this slowest week of the year hate those people who are on vacation this week, right? And who could we hate more than celebrities, who are on vacation every damn day of the year? Well, here they are rubbing our noses in their beach vacations and lives of luxury. What assholes. Let's make fun of them, shall we?

2011 was a great year for instafame. With cameras and Twitter users providing blanket coverage of each big news story, the whole world became a potential micro-celebrity. Let's take some time to remember 2011's best flash-in-the-pan celebrities, and then forget about them, forever.

It's hard to imagine that Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, and Rick Santorum were hoping to be days away from the Iowa caucuses and spending most of their time attacking Ron Paul, who just so happens to be crushing them all. But here they are, and boy howdy are they spitting hot fire at this crabby old doctor-paleolibertarian! Here are some highlights.