Several costumed pugs perform Bone-Thugz-N-Harmony's "1st of tha Month." I usually have a fairly low tolerance for, you know, this kind of thing, but, come on. Bone-Pugz-n-Harmony! [via Harris Wittels]

It's a really sad day for the birds. The USDA and Big Agriculture have belched out yet another terrible idea: Private companies will now inspect their mutant chickens themselves.

On Sunday, Bill Kristol, chronically incorrect steward of his daddy's magazine movement, dismissed liberals' and black activists' outraged response to the Trayvon Martin killing as "just demagoguery... mostly on the side of those who want to indict the whole society for this death." The following day, Rush Limbaugh said the response was "doing more harm to the black community than anything else." How blessed the black community must feel to have their best interests overseen by the living embodiment of everything wrong with white people.

If you can say one thing about Wendy Dickey, the mother seen in the video above who's become something of a regular on Toddlers & Tiaras, it's that she's unpretentious. You may remember her as the woman who dressed her 3-year-old daughter Paisley as a whore (specifically, a Julia Roberts-styled whore), which she defended on last night's episode: "She would not be as well known if it were not for that costume." Indeed, Paisley's ascendance to fame has been a true Cinda-fuckin'-rella story. (Not that I have to ask, but what does living through your fuck-me-booted 3-year-old say about Wendy?)

It is not hard to explain the prevailing demographic trends in America over the past decade or so: the inflating bubble caused Americans to rush further and further out into the far-flung suburbs in order to purchase homes, to live the American dream; construction and lending skyrocketed along the way; when the bubble burst, our nation was left with millions of homeowners stranded far, far out in the lonely exurbs, with homes they can't really afford, as the wealthy flee back into the cities. And now, we simply wait for the Slumburbs to flower, in all of their awful glory.

The "Google Glasses" video that swept the web yesterday — a point-of-view shot featuring all of the helpful little maps, messages and answers that Google Glasses will theoretically provide for you one day — was ridiculous for a couple reasons: one, who takes the 6 train one stop from 23rd Street to Union Square?? And two, if this is Google — where are the ads? Luckily, RebelliousPixels' Jonathan McIntosh remixed the video to provide a more realistic idea of what Google Glasses will be like. Annoying. [via The Atlantic]

The gossip mercenaries at TMZ are reporting that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are "dating for real," and went on a movie date to see The Hunger Games last night. This fascinating development raises the following questions:

A tipster forwarded us this voicemail with the note: "This has been going around quite a few agencies. Basically, this woman from Ohio leaves a voicemail for a crazy pitch for Chewy Granola bars. Listen to the voicemail when you have a sec!" We couldn't put it better ourselves. Qua qua qua Quaker Chewies/Are are are so delicious/Qua qua qua Quaker Chewies/Come on now, let's go get some.

And we're back with the second installment in the Kony campaign saga, Kony 2012: Beyond Famous. This time the video focuses on Invisible Children CEO Ben Keesey, rather than fallen angel of masturbation Jason Russell. In fact, other than a few grainy images and a handful of brief mentions, Russell is missing from the video completely.

Unwrap your lips from your processed Cheez-Delivery Snack'm Tube-Brand Corn Snaxxx and pay attention, America. This is important. Sure, you've been doing your best to consume your annual 137-gallon allotment of high fructose corn syrup, and your 92 pounds of Cheez annually. But do your standard condiments contain a sufficient amount of saturated fat and artificial flavors? Or could you be doing more?

Let's come together and welcome the legendary Beyoncé Knowles to Tumblr, where she joins her sister Solange in the land of 500 Days of Summer GIFs soft-focus black-and-white porn with a series of what look like vacation shots. Watch Beyoncé play Connect 4! See her boring home videos with Jay-Z! Marvel at Jigga's terrible fashion choices! [I AM]

Bravo chief Andy Cohen's three ring circus of a talk show Watch What Happens Live can get pretty crazy but tonight it went to new heights. For some terrible reason, Cohen decided to fill the room with fifty odd "Bravo-lebrities" and things unraveled fairly quickly into a mess of dumb games and scattered shouting. The show had it all - technical glitches, cringe-worthy singing from two (two!) Real Housewives, those terrible focus group for their baby name people, and next gen Bravo star Julia Allison. Here are all the craziest moments from Andy Cohen's All Star Bash.

A team of Chinese and Canadian scientists announced on Wednesday that farmers had discovered a new species of dinosaur as big as a T-rex, covered in feathers, in a small quarry in northeast China. The dinosaurs, found in a pack of three, are the largest feathered animal ever discovered – alive or extinct.

Folks who enjoy experiencing Katy Perry on screens of various sizes, in fields of various dimensions are in for a treat this summer: she's coming to the movies in 3D.

On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took a look at one of Mitt Romney's biggest problems as he begins his battle with President Obama: capturing the Latino vote. Unfortunately for Romney, he has often been on the wrong side of issues important to Latino voters. But, with the help of Colbert's new pro-Romney TV spot, all of Romney's problems will disappear. Or be escorted to the other side of the border, either way.

A volunteer at the Smithsonian Archives has made it her mission to put female scientists back where they belong: the kitchen. Just kidding — she's putting them back in annals of history, via Wikipedia.

Everyone knows that Mitt Romney will be the Republican nominee for President, everyone except Rick Santorum that is. As Jon Stewart examined on tonight's Daily Show, even while suffering the crushing defeat of the three most recent primaries, Santorum still can't accept that it's over. Instead, he compared himself to Ronald Reagan in 1976, like you do.

Bravo announced today that it's giving Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump her own reality show, and, somewhere in LA, Kyle Richards' face flashed dark with hag-like rage before she recovered and said "Ohmygod, I'm so happy for you, you look amazing!"

A judge in Alabama has ordered a 73-year-old man to remove the remains of his late wife from the front yard of the couple's home, where they have been for the past three years.

The future of New York taxicabs was officially unveiled at the International Auto Show Tuesday (NYT link) and, though they've had a year to prepare themselves for it, people are still reeling from the boxy banality of it all. As one Brooklynite told NPR: