Hot on the heels of the wildly successful, industry-shifting crowdfunding experiment that saw him sell an independently produced comedy special for just $5 on his own website, Louis C.K. is once again rattling the cage of traditional channels by selling tickets to his upcoming standup tour exclusively through his website.

If the UK's Daily Mirror is to be believed, Madonna's MDNA tour rider includes one particularly apt request from each venue she visits: Do not enter her dressing room until after it has been scrubbed clean of her DNA.

America's women, once famed the world over for their purity and tended lovingly by husbands in their kitchens to preserve their precious virtue, are now little more than a gaggle of slatternly harlots, screeching for ever-shorter shorts in a neverending quest to expose greater and greater quantities of naked flesh on their soft, supple upper thighs.

A day late, but no shortness of likes for this surprising pro-pride promotion from Oreo-brand cookies.

With Lassie and Rin Tin Tin in his entourage, animal actor Uggie, best known for his turns as Queenie in Water for Elephants and Jack in last year's Best Picture winner The Artist, retired from showbiz in style by marking his territory on the sidewalk of Grauman's Chinese Theatre.

Louis C.K. stopped by the Tonight Show as the third season of Louis C.K.'s brilliant Louie premieres this week. Here are two great bits from his appearance: ragging on Jay Leno's weird face and Jerry Sandusky.

While we all wait for the Supreme Court to rule on Obamacare, a decision set to come Thursday, Stephen Colbert isn't just sitting around doing nothing. He's preparing for every possible decision and he shared all the options on tonight's Colbert Report.

Too-good-to-be-true male stripper flick Magic Mike isn't even in theaters yet, and its screenwriter is already adapting it into a musical. Seriously.

Both President Obama and Mitt Romney spoke at the NALEO conference last week just before the Supreme Court's decision about Arizona's controversial immigration laws. So who did a better job of getting his message across? On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart broke it down.

The jury at the trial of Jerry Sandusky had already gone into deliberations when Sandusky's son Matt made allegations of sexual abuse against his father. The now-grown man, whom Sandusky and his wife Dottie adopted when he was a teenager, had previously denied any wrongdoing by his father.

If you're not one of the privileged masses who subscribe to HBO, and you still want to watch Aaron Sorkin's new series The Newsroom, here's your chance. You can now watch the entire first episode (which clocks in at just over 70 minutes) on YouTube.

The thing about this lawsuit is that it hinges on the testimony of a man who might be more hungry for fame than Kim Kardashian and Kanye West combined.

In a much anticipated ruling, the Supreme Court struck down major parts of Arizona's immigration law, allowing the federal government and not the state to set immigration policy. The controversial "show me your papers" clause, however, was left in.

Dr. Russell Dohner of the sleepy Illinois town of Rushville (pop: ~3,500) has been aided by the same nurse for the past 57 years. His furniture is exactly the same too; and his office visit charge hasn't changed since the Seventies.

I was in Italy for the last couple weeks, and I saw a lot of fine art. But it was all basically bullshit compared to the Fine Art of John McNaughton, painter and patriot, whose newest masterpiece "The Empowered Man" welcomes me home like a bald eagle with the head of the Statue of Liberty, whistling the solo from "Hotel California" and embracing me between its powerful, masculine wings.

The last known gay Jewish survivor of the Holocaust, Gad Beck, passed away yesterday in his retirement home in Berlin, just six days short of his 89th birthday.

Attention Muslims of the world: Better get your Muslim-ing in ASAP because atheist users of Reddit have decided to "go after" your puny religion. Rest in peace, Islam. You had a good thousand-and-a-half-or-so years but you're no match for image macros and rage comics.

Aaron Sorkin's proclivity for self-plagiarism is fairly well established.

Michael Jackson died three years ago today, so here's my favorite remix of my favorite of his songs, done in the mid-90's by none other than the godfather of house, Frankie Knuckles. I love how Frankie keeps all of the elements in that matter (the strings, the horns, the bubble-keyboards) and emphasizes some to make them matter more — I never realized how gorgeous this vocal performance was until I heard the stripped-down intro.

I think we all know that a wedding is meant to be a bride's special day in the limelight. But there are certain lines of bridal self-aggrandizement you don't cross, and singing Christina Aguilera's "The Right Man" while walking down the aisle crosses that line and then stabs that line in the face with an ice pick. I mean, JESUS. Watch the video in its entirety and you'll feel as awkward as every single guest sitting in the pews. I got two minutes in and nearly shit myself, I felt so mortified. WHY NOT HAVE EIGHT SHIRTLESS GAY MEN CARRY YOU DOWN THE AISLE IN A FUCKING LITTER, LADY? If your goal was to turn your wedding viral without any regard for good taste, congrats. You succeeded. At least you were on key. Look at that poor groom. He looks like he just got hit by a fucking steamroller. I want to kidnap him and feed him Doritos and beer and tell him everything will be okay. If she sings this much during the actual ceremony, God forbid how much singing she does during the reception.