If an alien came down to earth from a faraway planet without any knowledge of fitness (and the alien had a human body and our same physiology and everything, shut up), I would take that alien to the gym and bring them directly to the area with all the treadmills. "This is the treadmill area. This is where you should spend your whole workout," I would tell the alien.
Ever wonder what happened to Kyle McDonald, the artist who had the Secret Service sicced on him last year for installing spy cam software on computers in New York City Apple Stores that took pictures of unsuspecting Apple customers? He's written a long, fascinating account of his ordeal for Wired. Turns out it all ended for the best.
Last week, Daniel Tosh, a 37-year-old professional comedian, told a heckler that it would be funny if she were "raped by like five guys." The incident launched a week-long interent-based discussion about the limits of stand-up and several comedians came to Tosh's defense. In any event, it was one heat-of-the-moment joke, Tosh himself has apologized, and he can wash his hands of the incident, right? Yes, sure, as soon as he finishes taking all of the rape jokes out of the pilot for his new show. Via RumorFix:
The Daily is a daily newspaper that is available only on iPads. This was, and remains, a terrible business model. Consider:
Stacey Wilson Betts of Oregon filed a lawsuit against teen pop star Justin Bieber alleging she sustained permanent damage to her ears at a concert she attended with her daughter in 2010.
29 members of a militant group seeking revenge against rogue witch doctors were arrested by police in Papua New Guinea and charged with killing at least seven people.
Years ago, when an acquaintance of mine in Florida heard I was going to visit New York City, he replied, with complete seriousness, "New York City, huh? You wanna take my pistol?" This is because all those local yokel out-of-towners down south still imagine New York to be a dark, dangerous land prowled by muggers and rapists. The fools! NYC is safer than ever. Unless you're that one terribly unlucky person.
A Washington DC police officer who has worked the security detail for White House officials allegedly threatened to shoot Michelle Obama. The threat, which was overheard Wednesday morning, is currently under investigation by the DC police's Internal Affairs Division, and the Secret Service has been notified. In the meantime, the officer has been placed on administrative duty.
I hope you've been stockpiling water, batteries and solar-powered Netflix streaming generators, because the end is nigh. Or at least in 20 years it might be more dangerous to fly due to a massive shortage of qualified pilots. So maybe don't worry about the batteries but get your pilot's license instead?
In addition to being totally disgusting and filthy, New York City taxis are about to get significantly more expensive. Starting in September, cab rates will rise 17% per mile, and the flat rate between Manhattan and JFK will increase from $45 to $52. The New York City Taxi and Limousine Commission voted on the measure Thursday, with six members in favor, two against, and one member abstaining.
Above is video of two goats surfing in California. The goats were trained by their owner, Dana McGregor. Said McGregor:
Starring James Franco as a circus magician named Oscar Diggs who is transported by way of a twister to the merry old land of Oz, Evil Dead director Sam Raimi's Oz: The Great and Powerful is a prequel of sorts to the iconic 1939 big-screen adaptation of L. Frank Baum's classic children's novel, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
Kristen Saban, daughter of University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban, is as close to royalty as Alabama gets. She is also, according to a recently-filed lawsuit that alleges she beat the shit out of her sorority sister over a mean Facebook status, completely insane.
The inspiration for Walt Disney World's Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith, Steven Tyler, announced Thursday he's leaving his post as a judge on American Idol.
