It's been, uh, hours since the announcement that Mariah Carey is joining American Idol, and TMZ is already digging up dirt on her last Idol appearance.

Heavy metal has been weaponzied. At least that's the claim by a computer security researcher who says an Iranian nuclear scientist emailed him to say he and his fellow scientists were under attack by involuntary blasts of AC/DC, sparked by computer malware.

An openly lesbian Nebraska woman appears to have been the target of a horrific hate crime which took place inside her own Lincoln home.

If you already thought your tweets were some of the most important literature being crafted during this modern age, just wait until the Olympics when your every thought will have the power to turn a town's Ferris wheel yellow, purple, or green.

Margarita Pracatan is at least 60, extremely Cuban and quasi-known for her wacky covers of pop songs. They are irreverent not just to their source material, but to the ideas of melody and rhythm. On Friday, she performed her one-woman show, Stranger in the Night, at New York's Laurie Beechman Theater under the direction of Zach Udko. It was one of the wildest entertainment concepts I've ever witnessed. For over an hour, Pracatan stood in front of a pidgin-English PowerPoint presentation and discussed her love of money, her hatred of marriage and her frequenting of hotel bathrooms with her riffs on pop songs like Lionel Richie's "Hello," Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream," Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" and Maroon 5/Christina Aguilera's "Moves Like Jagger" interspersed. Before singing "Jagger," she told the crowd, "You can sing with me, 'cause I don't know this song." Every time she stepped up to the keyboard, she regarded it warily, as if it were her first time ever setting eyes on it. I believe that her "Teenage Dream" rendition linked to above uses the wrong preset beat. Oh well, incoherence is her aesthetic.

Score one for common sense: 17-year-old Savannah Dietrich of Louisville won't be charged with contempt of court after defense attorneys for the two teens who sexually assaulted her withdrew their motion this afternoon.

According to YourJewishNews.com, 22-year-old Conservative Republican Mindy Meyer of Flatbush is the first Orthodox Jewish woman to run for a seat in the New York State Senate.

Katy Perry's back-up rapper, Snoop Dogg, is set to release a reggae album under the name "Snoop Lion" later this year.

Now that Kate Bush is actually making music again (although who knows for how long), it'd be especially pointless for Natasha Khan (aka Bat for Lashes) to continue making music that wonders what Kate Bush would sound like if she were making music again*. And so she is not. "Laura" is the lead single from BFL's third album The Haunted Man (look at its insane, not-quite NSFW cover). What this song lacks in velocity it makes up for with its intensity. This is straight-up drama — perfect for a slow dance with a drag queen.

A 49-year-old Maine man named Timothy Courtois was arrested Sunday morning and charged with carrying a concealed weapon and criminal speeding. He was driving 112 miles per hour on the Maine Turnpike, and he had an AK-47 assault rifle, four handguns, and multiple boxes of ammunition in his Mustang.

Huge fan of HBO's cult police procedural The Wire and campaign fundraisers that are unironically attended by the show's cast members? Have at least $500 to spare? Then you're in luck!

Actor Fred Willard, who was allegedly caught with his penis out at an adult movie theater in Hollywood last week, spoke publicly about the incident for the first time today.

It is a beautiful day for gay men and all people who love ridiculousness. TVbytheNumbers reports: "Fox entertainment chief Kevin Reilly announced at the network's TCA session that Mariah Carey has officially signed on to judge the upcoming season of American Idol." Mariah Carey being forced to say many words on live-ish television is only a good thing for pop culture. You know how she gets.

In the past 40 years or so, CEOs have gone from earning 20 times more than the average worker, to more than 230 times the average worker. Over the same period of time, unions have weakened to the point that successful companies feel comfortable asking for unprecedented concessions from workers at the same time the company is reaping record profits. What do these things have to do with each other? Everything.

West New York, New Jersey.

A New Tripoli, Pennsylvania mother stands accused of "hacking" into the Northwestern Lehigh School District and changing her children's grades.

On his blog, Denver pastor Brad Strait recounts a rather remarkable "miracle story" involving 22-year-old Petra Anderson, a congregant at his church and one of the 71 people shot last Friday at a Century movie theater in Aurora, Colorado.

Following the Dark Knight Rises shooting in Aurora, certain gestures were made to pay tribute to victims of the attack. There was the collective decision from the studios to withhold but not really withhold box-office weekend results. There were countless opinion pieces about why the shooting happened and how it could have been prevented and what we, as a country, should be doing differently to ensure that it never happens again. There was a campaign determined to get Christian Bale to visit Aurora.

New York rapper and banjee-pride purveyor Le1f is the talk of the Internet after last week's release of his "Wut" video. It's an outrageous clip, in which Le1f sits on the lap of a built, oiled-up dude wearing a Pikachu mask, among things. How is that for unabashed queerness?

NEW YORK, NY. (The Borowitz Report Report)—A brilliant beam of sun broke through the clouds of tragedy this weekend when New Yorker humorist wrote a hilarious satirical news article pegged to the Aurora, Colorado theater shooting.