By contrasting the ease with which Aurora shooter James Holmes ordered guns and ammunition online with the rapid FBI response when a Muslim would-be terrorist in Aurora sent a single suspicious email a few years ago, Denver Post columnist Chuck Murphy states the obvious in his column today: this mass shooting might have turned out very differently if James Holmes had been named Ibrahim or Mohammed.

A fight that broke out during a screening of The Dark Knight Rises in West Homestead, Pennsylvania, resulted in several moviegoers nearly getting trampled underfoot after falling in the aisles while rushing to exit the theater.

Vincent D'OnofrioIn New York City's war on crime, the most charming sand art is sculpted by the detectives of the Major Case Squad.

What happens when enterprising citizens of the world's cheekiest nation, Great Britain, are saddled with the insane brand protection regulations of the London Olympics? It sparks a cheekiness arms race to see who can most cheekily get around the rules.

Holmes, 24, is in court this morning for his advisement:

Santa Monica-based artist Lorenzo Maggiore is seeking $15,000 from generous donors to help cover the mass production costs of his latest invention: A shotgun-themed "insect eradication device" that offers a "chemical free alternative for eradicating pesky insects."

Bradley Wiggins won biking's biggest this weekend, becoming the first Briton in history to claim first place in the Tour de France. He beat out other bikers by a huge margin of three minutes and twenty-one seconds.

I'm sure I'm not the first one to point this out, but it must be said: in the July 23 issue of The New Yorker, Jane Kramer has written a "Personal History" story entitled "A Reporter At Odds: Trading the notebook for a guidebook." The intro:

A 38-year-old software engineer from Florida says a generic version of the popular baldness treatment Propecia turned him into a her.

A sex tape allegedly starring Minka Kelly is said to be on the market, but the possibility that the actress was underage at the time of its shooting may be keeping buyers at bay.

When I'm out on the "lecture circuit" (out back of the 7-11), I'm always hearing you sad sack types whining about why you just can't get in shape. "I don't know how to get motivated," you sad sack types whine. "I don't have the motivation," you continue. It makes me so sick I just want to vomit out the 36-ounce Red Bull I just drank—for motivation!

Boston mayor Thomas Menino issued a candid statement last week expressing his distaste for the possibility that the controversial fast-food chain Chick-fil-A might open up a branch in Beantown.

Wesley and his giant ball sac (160 lbs., 6 feet in circumference), which he likens to a "very, very juicy Thanksgiving turkey" were featured on last night's episode of TLC's Strange Sex. This segment bummed me the fuck out. See how far you can make it through the segment above, in which the origin and then consequences of Wesley's condition are laid out. (He waddles everywhere with a sweatshirt holding his humongous bits...er, bit, in place.) When his home healthcare worker, Passion (that is her name for real), describes how "the balls have grown over the penis," I despair.

Sure, the thousands of truly creative people who, through vicious twists of fate and circumstance, find themselves working at ad agencies, where their creative impulses are channeled into Skittles and Old Spice and H&R Block and other equally vacuous enterprises, are suffering an awful and soul-deadening fate. But couldn't it be more soul-deadening? How about if we made them do this stuff all night?

The homemade explosives, incendiary liquid containers, and jugs full of bullets inside James Holmes booby-trapped apartment "show the intensity and focus" of the 24-year-old suspected of perpetrating the largest mass shooting in American history.

Chuck Schumer has had it up to here with whooping cough.

Officially, there are no box-office numbers this weekend. Nothing to see here. Move on.

Having a house guest can be stressful, especially when said guest is one resident's ex-boyfriend.

Appearing on CNN's State of the Union to discuss the mass shooting in Aurora, Colorado governor John Hickenlooper said that "act[s] of evil" are not necessarily preventable with stricter gun control laws.

"I'm doing a terrible job disciplining Tripp," Bristol Palin admits on her Lifetime reality show Life's a Tripp. And yes, giggling when your toddler calls his aunt a "faggot" is probably not a great way to let him know that's not a nice word.