Amanda Bynes, the poor man's Lindsay Lohan, was in ANOTHER car accident last night. No one was hurt.

The porn world has been rocked by the third STI scare in as many years, prompting the industry's trade group to call for a halt in production until all adult film actors are tested.

Despite losing the financial backing of the National Republican Senatorial Committee and Karl Rove's powerful American Crossroads Super PAC, Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) appears to be charging ahead undaunted in his effort to unseat Sen. Claire McCaskill in the upcoming election.

Things are tough out there. People are out of work. Politicians are willfully disregarding science. A League of Their Own stars are having heart attacks right and left. And now this: doctors are burning out at "alarming" rates.

In the year 2012, a bunch of golfers in Georgia let a woman join their silly club for the first time.

Piers Morgan was not too happy when 'Legitimate Rape' Rep. Todd Akin cancelled his appearance on Morgan's show at the last minute. So Morgan did what any sensible television host would do: he filmed an empty chair, and then challenged Akin to appear on the show tomorrow evening.

Eric Prokopi, a rare fossils dealer from Florida, is throwing a tantrum because the U.S. government took away his dinosaur skeleton. The skeleton - a Tyrannosaurus bataar that's nicknamed Ty - technically belongs to Mongolia, where the bones were found. Naturally, Prokopi is whining about all this.

Now there's a report that Tony Scott didn't have inoperable brain cancer. The autopsy result won't be ready for a month.

The love of Rihanna's life, Chris Brown, and his sensitive, sweater-draped nemesis Drake can't stop getting sued by people over their bottle fight two months ago. Last week, the feuding Rihanna lovers were sued by company called Entertainment Enterprises Ltd., which is somehow connected to WiP, the club where the bottle throwing melee took place. The complaint seeks $16 million in damages, claiming that, and this is actually in the legal papers, the two "shared a grudge against the other arising out of their romantic relationships with the same woman." According to the lawsuit, this led to bottle throwing and fighting between the two crews, which are described in the suit thusly:

David and Charles Koch are billionaire brothers whose financial backing of various Conservative (in particular, Tea Party) causes is so infamous it earned them a (parody) appearance in Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis' film The Campaign.

NBC, the network that, three decades ago, put Michael J. Fox on the map with Family Ties, has agreed to pick up his new single-camera comedy for a full 22-episode series sight unseen.

We now take such things for granted, but it's important to remember that for hundreds of years after the fall of Rome, Europe underwent a long age of violence and terror, bereft of the wisdom and knowledge of the ancients, completely ignorant of which colleges were among the 20 Party Schools. We must consider ourselves lucky, then, that we live in an age where every year Princeton Review blesses us with a list of not just the Top 20 Party Schools but also a list of the Top 20 Stone-Cold Sober Campuses — a cornucopia of Schools We Would Never Want to Go To.

After analyzing the survey responses of over 340,000 Americans, researchers at New York's Stony Brook University have concluded that people hate Mondays just as much as they hate Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.

In the most American thing to ever happen, comedian Rosie O'Donnell suffered a massive heart attack last week after struggling to help "an enormous woman" out of her car in a parking lot. She then saved herself using a tip she remembered from TV commercials.

Why is everybody so down on rape? This is what Mike Huckabee wanted to know today, on his radio program, which also featured Rep. Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin as a guest. For instance, did you know that Ethel Waters was conceived when her mother got raped? Do you know what a world without rape would look like? A world without Ethel Waters, that's what.

Teen death rattle trumps adolescent wizardry: The Hunger Games surpasses Harry Potter as best-selling books of all time.

Though we tend to knock the younger generation, at least they possess enough sense to understand the sobering reality of their situation: they will never achieve what they want, and their lives, such as they are, will be an endless series of battles against disappointment. Cheers to the young for their realism. More than we can say for their elders.

Taylor Swift, the girl in your AP U.S. History class who always turns around and asks you what grade you got, was totally spotted kissing Alexis' ex-boyfriend Conor Kennedy last weekend, and Alexis said she didn't care because she was with Logan now but then Amanda saw Alexis walk out of the bathroom with her eyes all red like she had been crying and it was so sad and everyone knows that Taylor gives boys BJs in the boiler room anyway so what does Conor even see in her?

Yeah Yeah Yeahs frontwoman Karen O's contribution to the soundtrack of Tim Burton's upcoming full-length Frankenweenie movie is brazenly sweet, even coming from the woman responsible for the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack. It is sugary enough to speak the language of children fluently.

A study unveiled at this year's American Sociological Association meeting purports to show that college students who engage in binge drinking are, on average, happier and more socially satisfied than those who practice moderation.