What the hell is up with some people, am I right? Specifically the ones who breastfeed their dogs.

Well, that's it for Newsweek. Celebu-editor and royal gravedigger Tina Brown announced this morning on the web site of the Daily Beast that the magazine's print edition will not survive the year. That's not all Brown's fault, of course. Newsweek is not the first magazine to abandon print, and it will by no means be the last. Tina Brown didn't kill Newsweek. She just killed its credibility.

This Brazilian gentleman's scalp, NBC News informs us, is not "neither a funky new look nor a hipster trend" — that is, unless medical conditions that create folds and creases on the surface of your scalp are a hipster trend! (They're not.) The condition is called "cutis verticis gyrata":

Maybe the craziest thing about American Horror Story's second season, which premiered last night on FX, is that it isn't a second season, really. The series is an anthology, meaning that despite the likes of Jessica Lange, Lily Rabe, Zachary Quinto and Evan Peters returning, we're getting a whole new set of characters in a whole new storyline that (supposedly) has nothing to do with what happened in the haunted-house-based first season.

A second federal appeals court has ruled the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional.

No one is quite sure who's behind a mysterious new website promising "an October Surprise that will change the 2012 election," but that hasn't stopped people from guessing.

As you were reading your paper edition of the Wall Street Journal today, you may have noticed the GIANT ad toward the front of the Marketplace section, in which Billy Graham tells you how to vote in the upcoming election.

If you are a business owner, Mitt Romney has a message for you. Tell your employees that the future depends on voting for Mitt Romney. You can do that, legally. In fact, tell them—the people whose paychecks you sign—that their futures depend on it, too.

The University of Phoenix is shutting down 115 of its bloodsucking fake college locations in the U.S., about half of the total number of centers of flimflammery. This may be seen as part of the larger trend of the decline of so-called "for profit colleges," which is a good thing, in the sense that these schools are best not at education, but at sucking money out of desperate people who can scarcely afford it.

Reese Rideout aka Cletus Van Damm aka Nicholas Ryan aka Nick Dent (the last being his real name...maybe) has a complicated life: He is supposedly straight but gets paid to have sex with men on film and then gets asked to talk about this to various media outlets. He and his wife, Becki, have appeared in the British Marie Claire, on The Bill Cunningham Show and, as of last night, on VH1 for a one-off special called I'm Married To A... In this case, the "A...," is a self-identified heterosexual man who regularly ejaculates in the arms (and in the other things) of another dude.

An elderly Connecticut woman who experienced the second World War first-hand was arrested this week and charged with sixth-degree larceny and breach of peace for removing three signs depicting President Obama with Adolf Hitler's signature mustache.

That's what Austria's newspapers would like to know.

Brooklyn—the expensive parts of Brooklyn, the parts of Brooklyn you read about in higher-end trend stories—prides itself on being a great bastion of liberalism and diversity, a place where the intelligentsia can be proud to live. In fact, many of the proud liberals in these parts of Brooklyn are full of shit.

Siblings caught red-handed lifting a television off a wall inside the women's room of sports bar in Springfield, Massachusetts, tried to lie their way out of jail time by claiming they couldn't have been stealing the TV as they were too busy having sex with each other.

Eric and Jenny are returning to Gossip Girl for the final season. They will be treated as strangers and shot on sight.

A team of conservationists from the Kenya-based Amboseli Trust for Elephants received a call last week of a baby elephant that had fallen into a well.

After Mitt Romney bragged about the "binders full of women" he was given while Governor of Massachusetts, Amazon was flooded with cheeky, often funny customer reviews of its binders.

While the entire world that cares about this stuff had its attention trained on a Daily Telegraph report that The Guardian was in "serious" discussions about ending its print edition (a report the Guardian denies), Newsweek's editor-in-chief Tina Brown was busy penning an announcement that her publication was past the point of discussion and on to the implementation stage.

Earlier today, Twitter blocked its first account, a German neo-Nazi group that German police say is a "criminal organization." This is the first time Twitter has ever censored a user's account. Unless, of course, you count Guy Adams, who was temporarily banned after NBC complained to Twitter about Adams's criticism of their Olympic coverage.

Uma Thurman's new daughter is named Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson. But she'll go by Luna.