Google is one of the largest and most powerful corporations in the world, but on Thursday the tech giant was brought to its knees by a printer malfunction. Well, that and the fact that the company's net income in this year's third quarter fell 20 percent to $2.18 billion (... and cue the violins). It was an all-around terrible day to be working for Google (except for the part where you could go eat lunch at one of the best cafeterias in America, that part probably never gets old):

This month's world-changing tech innovation: a rap lyrics website. Lyric-annotation site RapGenius.com just landed a $15 million investment, leading to a press blitz this week as tech and entertainment sites rushed to profile the three kids who are going to change the game. But why'd they land so much money? And why are so many rap fans and critics shaking their heads? Here's our guide.

Dilbert creator Scott Adams is a rich white man who has turned his allegiance to Mitt Romney — I'll give you a moment to regain your composure. Okay. On Wednesday, Adams wrote a mildly coherent blog post explaining why he will be voting for Mitt Romney in November, one that starts with a hypothetical situation that includes the phrase, "For the record, President Obama did not technically kill anyone to get elected."

Another layer of intrigue has been revealed in the saga of the downfall of conservative academic and rising Evangelical star Dinesh D'Souza, who resigned from his perch atop King's College today after it was revealed that he had a fiancee while also having a wife. Right Wing Watch reports that his mistress/fiancée, Denise Odie Joseph II, was also married, and said in April that she was going to vote for Mitt Romney, "because [her] husband told her to."

Researchers from Stanford University have finally discovered a use for all that young blood you've got lying around (just as it was about to turn, thank God): inject it into your bloodstream to become young and beautiful again. Or, anyway, slightly better at memory tasks.

Doctors in Shanghai are reiterating a warning to consumers to use sex toys as directed after a man arrived at Zhongshan Hospital with a nine-inch dildo that had been stuck inside him for five days.

After Tuesday night's debate, a photograph of Mitt Romey's son Josh sitting in the audience with a bloodcurdling stare quickly went viral. And then, yesterday, another Romney son — Tagg — told a radio host that he wanted to "take a swing" at President Obama. All of which leads to the natural question: which is the creepiest Romney?

Rapper Drake graduated from high school yesterday. He dropped out in 2001 to portray a fake high schooler on Degrassi.

Former Republican speechwriter and game show host Ben Stein likely won't be invited back on Fox & Friends any time soon after the conservative economist dropped a megaton truth bomb in the studio earlier this morning.

In case you missed it, yesterday it was revealed that Uma Thurman had taken the names—all the names—for her baby, Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson, who will go by "Luna."

Here's the first clip of Michael Brutsch aka Violentacrez's interview with CNN

When we hear about unmarried young couples living together in sin, we're like "Sure, kids these days are living in sin, rejecting god, and fornicating nightly in Lucifer's glory, what else is new?" But now we hear that older couples are also living together in sin. Aren't you older couples old enough to know the teachings of Jesus, about not living in sin?

Citizens of #lochtenation: your leader is on tonight's 30 Rock. He won't be racing Prince Harry, that was real life.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

A 10-year-old boy with Down syndrome who disappeared Tuesday afternoon from his home in Hackleburg, Alabama, was found safe and sound yesterday after spending a cold night in the woods.

Disillusioned young Westerners go to India, meet holy men, go slightly insane. There's a name for that.

After a two-year-long court battle, records kept by the Boy Scouts of America on suspected child abusers have been released online. The records were kept from 1965 to 1985 and contain the names of men who were banned from volunteering with the Boy Scouts after they were accused of abusing the young men entrusted to them. The so-called "perversion files" also contain the names of men banned on suspicion of being gay.

Massachusetts, you sure have been wacky this week. You're a major accomplice in this week's "Binders full of women" deluge (which Romney lied about too). You had brother-and-sister thieves pretending to be screwing in a bathroom to avoid jail time. Plus those roving coyotes, dumped lottery winners, cartoony bus-driver assaults, and your awful accents are ruining the flow of American Horror Story. And now you don't like a little private tickling?

Bienvenidos a racial dialogue, friends.

The first Massachusetts resident in over a year to win the Mega Millions jackpot had another reason to smile: His girlfriend had just broken up with him.