Here at Gawker, we stand in opposition to the back-slapping Lamestream Media and its cozy relationships with Big Business, from Big Fruit all the way to Big Pie. That's why we were the only news organization brave enough to come right out and ask, "Hey, how come you never see orange pie, on the menu or whatever?" It was only a matter of time before Big Pie sent out its MSM attack dogs to try to recapture the narrative.

A couple months ago, NYC-based soup chain Hale and Hearty accidentally sent a coupon calling out "a cunt named Mary" to email subscribers. Now they've been plagued by another problem: locusts! (Or, anyway, some horrifying bug/alien creature that is almost certainly not a locust.)

It's been so long since the world has seen a decent celebrity sex tape.

While the people you follow on Twitter have been eager to let you know how warm it is today, it looks like we're in for a long, hard winter. Why's that? Well health officials say we're already seeing a spike in flu cases, several months early.

For more than two weeks, alcoholic squirrel Hunter Moore has been soliciting revenge-porn submissions for his soon-to-be-launched HunterMoore.tv site, a new endeavor he's promised would be "very scary," "something that will [make] you question if you will ever want to have kids." The dick-pic boogeyman also Tweeted about including "people's house info with google earth directions" and then told the New York Observer's BetaBeat that one of the "scary as shit" aspects would, in fact, be the inclusion of personal home addresses "so you can stalk people." This detail, as Moore himself put it, had a lot of people "freaking out."

When it was announced earlier today that future Queen of England Kate Middleton had created, inside her body, with help from Prince William, the eventual ruler of the United Kingdom and its associated territories, Twitter quickly jumped into the fray, doing what it does best: unfunny jokes.

Do you hate the way you're always losing loose prescription pills at the bottom of your backpack and then your French boyfriend is like, "OÙ SONT THE PILLS? J'AI BESOIN DE PILLS!" And you're like, "My arms don't reach! My arms don't reach!"?

You'd think that after 4chan founder Christopher "moot" Poole was voted 2009's Most Influential Person in the World thanks in overwhelming part to a flood of 4chan users looking to game the system, Time magazine would quit handing the decision to Internet users.

As millions of Americans wait to find out whether their unemployment benefits will completely disappear at the end of the year, European unemployment reaches a record high. There are lots of unemployed people in the world today. Each week, we bring you true stories of unemployment from the unemployed themselves. This is what's happening out there.

Today the text message turns 20, making it a millennial. It's no wonder auto-correct is so entitled.

Conor, text me wen u get this:

Tumblr has been flooded by a worm that's spamming thousands of user's feeds with an anti-Tumblr rant. In an interview, a spokesman for the group that's apparently behind the hack claims they warned Tumblr weeks ago about the potential exploit but they were ignored. Oh, and they're also waging a "War on Blogs."

After two mixtapes and one studio album put them on everyone's "best new bands" list, the Brooklyn-based alternative hip hop trio Das Racist has announced its decision to split, with each member going his separate way.

American states, counties, and cities routinely offer huge tax incentives and subsidies to private businesses in order to lure those businesses into locating themselves in a particular place. Spend a little to get a lot, the theory goes. Priming the pump of economic development, etc. The problem is that what is supposed to be spending for the public's benefit in fact benefits only private corporations. And it should be outlawed.

New York City is getting its first LEED Gold certified restaurant. Hold your applause, though, it's an Applebee's.

Over the weekend, the New York Times managed to track down the homeless recipient of NYPD officer Lawrence DePrimo's kindness, and found out he was still walking around barefoot.

Feelings-sharing platform Tumblr is currently being bombarded by a massive worm that spreads a hateful anti-Tumblr message, and a notorious internet trolling organization has claimed credit. Happy Monday!

Buckingham Palace has confirmed our friends Bill and Kathy are having their first child, according to the AP. Here's the statement:

Outdoor Baptist preacher Micah Armstrong gets an eyeful of promiscuity when University of Central Florida student Austin Cooper decides to respond to his anti-sex hellfire with some good ol' fashioned nudity.

Pope Benedict XVI is just a Tweep like one of us.