A family trip to SeaWorld Orlando to interact with her favorite animal ended in trauma for 8-year-old Jillian Thomas of Alpharetta, Georgia, after she was bitten by a hungry dolphin.

Last night, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Oscar-winning actress Meryl Streep did what any self-respecting pair of BFFs does when they're together at "the club" (in this case, the Kennedy Center Honors gala): they took a selfie. Unfortunately, we don't have access to Streep's iPhone, and will likely never see the original photo. But we can imagine what they might have done with it afterward, in the social image editor of their choice:

The New York Times, like the rest of the newspaper industry, went through a painful series of buyouts after the 2008 financial collapse exacerbated the already ongoing collapse of the newspaper industry. In 2009, they cut 100 positions. In 2011, they had 20 more buyouts. This morning, they announced they want 30 more.

Well, we knew that this was coming: The Daily, launched by News Corp in early 2011 with great fanfare as the world's first "iPad newspaper," will be folding this month. Almost two years. That's about right.

Since moving to Meridian, Idaho, in 2005, Zachary Cadger and his family have been the bane of the HOA with their increasingly seizure-inducing Christmas light shows that grow in wattage with every year of our Lord.

According to reports, Degrassi graduate Drake hung out with culinary titan Guy Fieri Saturday night. Obviously, this is a big deal. Thankfully, someone took a picture of the historic meeting. As my colleague Max Read wrote, the photograph is "possibly the all-time achievement of the mimetic image." In it, a focused Drake stares intently as he stirs some sort of sauce (marinara? chocolate? donkey sauce?) while a patient, wise-seeming Fieri looks on.

If you order anything from McDonald's breakfast menu aside from hot cakes or some sort of biscuit sandwich, you deserve to be disappointed and/or disgusted. That said, no ordering mishap, not even one as egregious as that, merits the discovery of a nose ring in your breakfast burrito.

Like most pet owners, Upper West Side resident Gary Rintel wanted to remember his beloved Astro, a short-haired collie/Great Pyrenees, after the mutt passed away. However, instead of holding a nice funeral, or naming his next pet Astro Jr., Rintel took the unusual step of making a hat out of the dog's fur. Weird and sort of creepy, right? Well, Rintel wasn't quite finished; he also spent $140,000 to have Astro cloned twice. The results, as you might expect, are like something out of a horror movie.

The week's second football suicide: groundskeeper for the Cleveland Browns has killed himself in the training facility.

Frank Bruni wants Bill Clinton to apologize already. No, The New York Times op-ed columnist wasn't personally attacked by the former President or anything. Bruni wants Clinton to finally own up to signing the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996.

Chen Guangcheng, the blind legal activist and NYU fellow, just released a new video where he calls for the release of Chinese political prisoners and urges other nations to intervene and tell China to loosen some of its more restrictive laws. The video was released just in advance of the United Nation's Human Rights Day, which is slated for December 10th.

It's a textbook case of not appreciating what you have until it's gone: the U.S. Navy plans to replace some of its mine-hunting dolphins with unmanned submersibles described as "12-foot torpedo-shaped robot[s]" by 2017. Were you even aware before this announcement that the Navy had a $28 million-dollar marine mammal program based in Southern California? Or that it began in the 1950s and at one point also included "killer whales and sharks"? If not, you must feel this loss all the more keenly.

It's just about time for Hannukkah and anti-semites all over Boston are spreading pretty hateful stuff around.

A crocodile in Australia made off with a nine-year-old swimming in a river; the second attack of its kind in two weeks.

Ricky Gervais is one of the most hated entertainers in America. Remember when he hosted the Golden Globes and was super horrible to everyone? Yeah, kind of unforgettable really.

The Supreme Court met Friday to discuss the possibility of hearing arguments for two high-profile cases concerning gay marriage (one for California's Proposition 8 and the other for the federal Defense of Marriage Act), but "surprised" everyone when they made neither a decision nor an announcement by the end of the day.

Bret Easton Ellis, the American Psycho writer and professional crazy person, is a pretty notorious tweeter. He's yelled at Lindsay Lohan for not showing up to set on time, defended Paris Hilton after she said most gay people "like, die of AIDS," and has told bullied kids to toughen up.

The American Psychology Association voted to finalize entries for the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders yesterday, ending the last of several commenting periods open to the public, so if you were hoping to send them any recommendations I hope yours got in under the wire. There hasn't been a new edition since the release of the DSM-IV in 1994, which may not seem that long ago, but consider that Adderall did not yet exist at the time and the A&E Channel was still years away from its hit "Watching People With Largely Untreated Mental Illness Suffer in Their Homes" series lineup.

Famous sex tape lady Kim Kardashian just wrapped up her trip to the Middle East. No, she wasn't there to educate herself on worldly matters or to solve any crises, Ms. K was there to open a couple branches of the L.A. chain Millions of Milkshakes. Some of her fans apparently paid up to $1,200 to attend her appearance at a mall.

Today, Mike Fleck, a Republican member of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives, became the first openly gay member of the Pennsylvania legislature. He told The Huntington Daily News his secret in a tell-all interview.