Conor, text me wen u get this:

Millionaire Christmas tree farmer Taylor Swift was spotted a-courting at the Central Park Zoo this weekend, with 18-year-old boybander Harry Styles, a singer from the popular music group Kidz Bop Vol. 20 One Direction.

Swift and Styles reportedly dated briefly this past spring, but broke up due to rampant #drama. Rumors have been swirling that the pair were having a grown-up affair since way back in October, when Swift was still with Conor Kennedy. Swift reportedly planned a secret dinner with Styles while abroad, but she canceled when English papers caught wind of the plans.

The Daily Mail offers a hilarious series of pictures from this weekend's zoo visit. In them, the couple munch nuts, stare intently at a seal they know, and even play with a baby that has just been dropped off by a stork.

However, like all great Harry Potter novels, this one has a twist. Hollywood Life reports that Taylor isn't dating Harry Potter-Styles at all; she's just using him to make her ex-boyfriend Conor, one of the top four hottest guys in Mr. Abrams' English class, jealous.

Taylor forwards a pic of herself and Harry with the baby to Harry (Subject line: "<3 our happy family") and "accidentally" BCC's Conor, but Conor has been working on a Domestic Skills project with Jessica P. all day (the assignment: raise a fake baby) and hasn't checked his email.

Taylor texts Conor to say "Sorry, I can't go to the dance with you; I'm already going to the Grammys with Harry," but Conor already has a date to the dance: Jessica P. (He always thought she was kind of fake, but she turned out to be really cool when they were working on that Domestic Skills project.)

Taylor and Harry Styles record a chart-topping duet about the magic of love, but Conor is too busy watching the Patriots' game to notice.

Etc.

Adult man Mario Lopez recently confirmed on his radio show that he had seen Swift and Styles holding hands backstage at a taping of the X Factor.

Taylor and Conor Kennedy parted ways in late October.

[Daily Mail // Image via Getty]