IFC's Peabody Award (!) winning sketch comedy Portlandia is back with a brand new season starting this Friday @ 10 PM ET.

Fireworks: By now you've seen them all.

As the House fails to approve Sandy relief, Rep. Bill Pascrell: "it's time to ... take the gloves off, Jersey style."

We began our look at predictions for 2013 on Monday by admitting an ugly truth: that if you want to bat 1.000 on these, you just need to pick a bunch of horrible stuff. Famine? That's a lock. War? You bet.

Put your snob nose clothespin on: Casting for an EDM-centric reality show is underway.

Jennifer Lawrence thinks acting is stupid and that it would be funny to kill someone with an actual bow and arrow, LOL.

Glenn Grothman, a Wisconsin state senator since 2005, proclaimed in a press release late last week that Kwanzaa, the holiday designed to give blacks their own Christmas and Hanukkah equivalent, is nothing but a left-wing scam to divide blacks and whites. Because what better way to begin the new year than with some good and very old fashioned race baiting? Here's an excerpt from Grothman's release:

If you were lolling around the internet during the holidays, many of you probably read Megadeth lead singer Dave Mustaine's bitchy evisceration of suit-merchant Men's Warehouse via his personal Facebook page after they screwed up a gift certificate purchase he made, putting a damper on his gift-giving spirit. The songwriter of neck-snapping ditties like "Wake Up Dead, " "Peace Sells," and, my personal favorite, "Holy Wars...The Punishment Due" showcases his consumer advocacy letter-writing ability of demon-fisted prose like "For almost 9 days now I have been waiting for delivery of this gift certificate, and I wouldn't say anything because it IS the holidays, but these salesmen promised that they would GUARANTEE a two-day delivery of the certificate..." The word guarantee is one Mustaine takes seriously so the lack of follow-through on this promise by Men's Warehouse has aggrieved him so much that he implored all Megadeth fans ("Droogies") to purchase off-the-rack, somewhat-reasonably priced men's apparel elsewhere because Men's Warehouse starts trouble, spreads pain, and has piss and venom in its veins. Yes, holiday bustle aside, they are liars, he says.

American journalist James Foley is missing in Syria after being kidnapped six weeks ago, his family announced today. According to witnesses, the 39-year-old freelancer was taken by unidentified gunmen on Thanksgiving Day in Idlib, the same turbulent northwest Syrian province where NBC foreign chief foreign affairs correspondent Richard Engel was kidnapped last month. Engel and his team were freed on December 18th, but Foley's condition is unknown.

Inspired by a fellow Brazilian who raised nearly $800,000 by putting her virginity up for sale, Rebecca Bernardo decided to try her luck offering up her deflowering to the highest bidder.

Why didn't you call me when you got my texts? I texted you like four times because I had something important to tell you. Ohmygod, don't be a bitch to me right now, something can be important even if it's a group text. Whatever, shut up, I have big news:

Every year, thousands of fresh-faced young aspiring journalists flood our nation's college classrooms, in order to learn how to practice their craft. What should we tell them? This, first: journalism is not about you.

This video, given the culture of fear-approved title "RUN HIDE FIGHT," has just been released by Alabama's Department of Homeland Security. It instructs Alabamans on what to do in the event of a mass shooting, but also scares the shit out of everyone who watches it.

You'd think after the first mishap, the Today Show's producers would have learned that wine, heels and dogs don't mix. They did not.

The only ingredient in energy drinks that matters is caffeine. Just drink coffee, it's cheap.

Paula Papen found her 8-year-old son using her iPad to mess around on eBay, so she did what any parent who doesn't mind scarring their children for life would do: She convinced him he'd accidentally purchased a $50,000 Ford Mustang and there was no way to cancel the sale.

Every year on December 25th, Jesus throws himself a huge birthday party and everyone is invited and everyone brings a present for someone else (unique gifting idea coined by Jesus) and it is just, like, known that this day is Jesus' birthday so you shouldn't make any other plans.

After the family dog passed away last year, Philip Michaels knew he would have to wait a while to allow his father time to grieve before bringing a new puppy into the house.

After almost killing the fiscal cliff deal over the course of a few bizarre hours yesterday, you'd think it'd be impossible for House Republicans to make themselves look any more cruel and petty...

The controversy surrounding Quentin Tarantino's supposed over-use of a certain expletive in Django Unchained is on everyone's lips — except that few can actually bring themselves to say the word.