Though he was unable to meet young leukemia patient Zach Guillot in person, the movie star arranged instead to have a lengthy phone conversation with the boy about his favorite topic: Batman.

Skinny motherfucker with the high voice Prince has crawled out of the bathtub to give an interview to Billboard. Per his usual press policy and determination to be as big of a pain in the ass as humanly possible, he would not allow veteran music journalist Gail Mitchell to record their interview or take notes:

If you have ever given twenty bucks to the Red Cross and subsequently been deluged by form letters from 136 other charities, you may have asked yourself, "What's the deal with all this junk mail?" Here is "the deal," as you so crudely put it: the junk mail industry is now far more technologically advanced than ever. Just give in.

Gone are the sand-in-the-face days when being considered a nerd was a bad thing. Now, it seems like every Hollywood actor desperate for a career makeover is hiking up his pants, pulling on a cardigan, and ditching his contacts for a set of plastic frames — because nothing says, "Hire me for your massive comic book film franchise" like a bit of geek-inspired style.

When TNT launched in Belgium last year, the TV channel hired the Duval Guillaume Modem ad agency to help them introduce the brand to a new audience. The ad campaign that followed — "Push to Add Drama" — went ultra-viral online and was hailed as one of the most creative campaigns in recent memory.

Aleksey Vayner, the very determined Yale student with the infamous video resume, died this weekend, according to a relative in Florida who confirmed Vayner's death. "It looks like he took some drugs or medicine, had a heart attack, a friend of his drove him to the hospital, and they couldn't resuscitate him," said Boris Vayner, who identified himself as Aleksey's step-cousin, over the phone this afternoon. "Not exactly sure though, I'm too far away."

From a BBC One documentary series on wildlife in Africa comes the most incredible nature footage ever captured on film: A squirrel responding with anthropomorphic shock to the sight of a hungry leopard.

Get a load of this one, the big joke of the day: students entering our nation's four-year colleges actually expect to graduate, from those colleges, in four years. I know. What?? Somebody give these kids some education!

The Rakwena Crocodile Farm in northern South Africa has reportedly managed to capture about 7,500 crocodiles that went missing after a flood threat forced the owner to open the gates, but just as many remain on the loose.

Here's this morning's New York Post, which is starting its year out strong in offensive sexist garbage. Don't hold, back guys! This could the year you beat "DSK MAID A HOOKER" for gross horseshit! Good luck! [Newseum]

Only 11.3% of American workers now belong to unions, the lowest percentage in nearly a century.

A major Catholic health provider has successfully dismantled a wrongful death lawsuit brought against it by arguing — in defiance of its own long-held doctrine — that a dead fetus is not the same as a dead person.

Last October, 28-year-0ld NYPD officer Gilbert Valle III, aka the Cannibal Cop, was arrested and charged with "conspiracy to kidnap, cook, and eat" up to 100 women. In court on Wednesday, prosecutors provided additional online chats (some online conversations were released in October) between Valle and one of his online cannibal buddies, who uses the screen name "Moody Blues." This Moody Blues character was, apparently, far more experienced than Valle, who hadn't actually eaten anyone yet.

In case you've found yourself wondering about the location of Clint Eastwood's empty Obama chair from his rambling, incoherent speech at the RNC in Tampa, tonight is your lucky night. The chair that launched a million bad jokes (receiving a recent boost from Manti T'eo's fake girlfriend) is now located in Republican National Committee chairman Reince Priebus' office, which, as CNN reports, is just a "stone's throw away from the U.S. Capitol." CNN also notes that Preibus "gets" the joke and even points out the chair to visiting reporters before explaining to them the various recent failures of the Republican party. So now you know.

Remember the Maine Zumba prostitution scandal? Well, here are some updates. First, alleged participant Mark Strong is a modern day renaissance man; not only is he the accused Maine Zumba pimp (or, madam Alexis Wright's business partner) — he's also an insurance agent and a private investigator. Impressive! Strong pleaded not guilty to 59 misdemeanor counts of promotion of prostitution and violation privacy, and on Tuesday his attorneys questioned potential jurors for the trial, which should start sometime in May. The questions included tough ones like:

Five people were charged on Wednesday with imprisoning disabled adults in a Philadelphia "dungeon" as part of a brutal scam to collect the victims' disability and social security checks. Two victims died during the horrific crime, which went on for over a decade.

Last week, there was a minor horse meat scandal in Ireland and the UK. Several supermarket chains were forced to pull horse-contaminated beef products, including one – the Tesco Everyday Value Beef Burger – that was found to be almost 30% horse. In addition to Tesco, four other supermarkets were found selling part-horse burgers,which were traced to three processing plants: Liffey Meats, Dalepak Hambleton and Silvercrest Foods. Gross, right?

If there is one thing New Yorkers know, it's how annoying tourists can be. That's why apologies in advance are necessary to the people of Scotland for the influx of tourists you're about to receive.

Police in Helena, Montana, say a man who was robbing a local Papa John's had a sudden change of heart while being handed the cash.

CNN has just published a breaking news bulletin confirming that America's No. 1 threat to national security, the pop-singer Beyoncé, did not sing live at Monday's Presidential Inauguration and Live Singing Only Ceremony.