A member of the "Pink Panther" gang of jewel thieves escaped from a Swiss prison this week, making him the third gang member to escape since May.

An adorable baby zonkey (half zebra, half donkey) was born last week in Florence, Italy to two star-crossed lovers — a lady donkey and a gentleman zebra who had a "a romantic love affair" that culminated in the zebra jumping over a metal fence to make sweet baby hybrids.

A man who killed six people and took another two hostage in a South Florida apartment complex was shot and killed by a SWAT team early this morning.

At least 38 people were killed and 500 were injured this morning in Egypt after police and armed civilians opened fire on protestors.

Mardi Gras in June. That was the noise out the window. Like a spray of firecrackers. A tack-a-tack-a-tack-a-tack-a-tack-tack midnight burst of joy.

Welcome to our collection of the hate mail that you so lovingly send to us. You were mad about creationism, furious about Anthony Weiner, and had empty promises about the royal bebe. You were happy about Jesus and Paula Deen, and confused about shorts and eyebrow pencils. Read on for this week's lovely collection of our far-flung correspondence.

Welcome to Annotate This, where we gather reviews, trailers, and annotate the posters for movies coming out this week. It will help you decide what to avoid, what to see, and what to pretend to see. Click on the image above to add your comments to the mix.

A YouTube video posted yesterday appears to be footage shot during the horrifying moment when Southwest Flight 345 lost part of its landing gear and skidded to a stop on its nose at LaGuardia Airport on Monday.

Brandon Harker recently returned to his home state of Washington after a nine-month deployment to Afghanistan and wanted nothing more than to hug and pet his beloved dog Oakley.

An American family vacationing in Greece recently enjoyed a subdued, respectful trip abroad and returned to the United States without brutally killing and eating everything that wandered into their path. Just kidding. That will never happen. We're a hungry people! An American family vacationing in Greece recently caught an extremely rare form of octopus while out snorkeling, beat it to death on some rocks, and ate it.

The following video, widely circulated on social media, shows a Russian teen being tortured by a Neo-Nazi gang that suspects him of being gay. It seems likely that the clip—like the photo above, taken at a St. Petersburg gay-rights rally in June—will become iconic for the same reasons the famous photographs of Emmett Till's corpse did when they were published in Jet in 1955: It's excruciating to endure and potentially galvanizing because of it. Says Spectrum Human Rights Alliance:

Jay Z responds to Harry Belafonte's comment that the rapper and his wife, Beyonce, have "turned their back on social responsibility": "I’m offended by that because first of all, and this is going to sound arrogant, but my presence is charity. Just who I am. Just like Obama's is."

FedEx says it fired the employee caught on camera throwing delivery boxes into her truck with reckless abandon.

Paul McNeive and the rest of the "McNeive clan" were touring Hollywood recently, and decided to drop by actor Aaron Paul's house to see if they could catch a glimpse of the Breaking Bad star through a window.

Following sexual harassment accusations from seven different women, Bob Filner, San Diego mayor and a horrible apparition from the "Black Hole Sun Video," said in a press conference today that he will take two weeks off to enter an "intensive therapy" program to try and become a better man and mayor.

Two rookie cops responding to a burglary call accidentally went to the wrong Fort Worth house and ended up shooting the homeowner due to "poor lighting," a police affidavit claims.

Goofus—the European countries that spent like drunken sailors and then saw everything evaporate in the recession— is so depressed he can't even get around to having a baby. But Gallant— the countries that were relative models of fiscal rectitude— has no trouble making babies, if you know what we mean.

Attention humans: get ready to never pay for another dinner you eat with a mouse ever again.

A gun club in Ohio has raised over $12,000 to buy George Zimmerman new guns or a security system after the 9mm pistol Zimmerman used to kill Trayvon Martin was taken into evidence by the U.S. Justice Department. The department is currently conducting a civil rights investigation into Martin's shooting, while the gun club argues that Justice is actually violating Zimmerman's civil rights by keeping his handgun from him.

Eric Myers says he first realized he was gay at age six, but it took running out on his wife and kids and faking his own death to finally allow him to admit it.