As of Friday, Britain's Prince George is no longer an undocumented drifter living off the grid, subsisting on secrets and shadows; he's a person with a birth certificate. For whatever reason, the birth certificate was not filled out very neatly, but what are you gonna do? Summer Fridays, everyone's in a hurry. (Here's Prince William's super fancy birth certificate for comparison.)

The wife of a suicidal man managed to prevent him from plummeting to his death by holding on to his leg for 20 minutes after he jumped out of the window of their sixth-floor apartment.

The State Department has issued a worldwide travel alert, effective through August 31, over possible al Qaeda terror threats, in particular in "the Middle East and North Africa." So, uh, "watch out"? Here's the alert:

It starts with a simple question: "Why do black people always choose Luigi?"

Porn performer James Deen will not discuss his Canyons costar Lindsay Lohan. But he will discuss his experiences with gay sex, both onscreen—in Paul Schrader’s aforementioned bizarrely mesmerizing and already-storied thriller—and in his real life. What does that say about a performer whose heterosexuality is a commodity that’s sold countless straight porn movies, including Farrah Abraham’s “sex tape?”

Henry Allen, 72, has something to say to the world: What is happening? Where am I? What's going on?

A no-kill shelter in Kenosha, Wisconsin, is still reeling after nine Department of Natural Resources agents and four sheriff's deputies suddenly descended on its barn and euthanized an abandoned baby deer that was one day away from being moved to a wildlife reserve.

This is Mohamed Siad, 27, accused drug dealer, gun runner, victim of a recent jailhouse stabbing—and, apparently, owner and peddler of the infamous Rob Ford crack video.

Today in "The New York Times Publishes the Children of Former New York Times Columnist Frank Rich," the New York Times reaches out to Simon Rich, the son of former New York Times columnist Frank Rich. Stay tuned for more inevitable TNYTPTCOFNYTCFR updates.

The CIA is reportedly going to unprecedented measures to halt its operatives from speaking to the press or Congress about its role in Benghazi, Libya. According to a CNN report, the agency is holding monthly polygraph tests and using intimidation with its operatives involved in Benghazi at the time of last year's September 11 attacks. Though little is known about what the agency was doing, the CIA is intent on silencing any information about its role. One source said:

It's Friday, dammit, and you know what that means.

The State Department will close embassies and diplomatic missions in many Muslim countries and Israel on Sunday—President Obama's birthday—over a possible al Qaeda threat.

Tony Bennett announced his resignation as Florida's education commissioner on Thursday, plagued by a scandal that followed him from his previous position as head of education in Indiana, where he lost his re-election bid last November. Bennett's resignation came three days after he was accused of changing the grade of an Indiana charter school founded by a Republican who had donated over $130,000 to his campaign.

When Roger Herrin learned that a court had ordered him to repay $500,000 he had received in insurance payments for the death of his son, he decided to protest the order in an unusual way: he paid approximately a third of the money back in quarters, which, altogether, weighed nearly four tons.

Musician Jack White's ex-wife—not Meg White, the other one—has received a restraining order against the Detroit rock star after alleging that his paranoid harassment in the wake of their divorce has made it so she "fears for her and the children’s safety."

Ariel Castro.

Early Thursday morning, a 35-year-old woman on a first date fell to her death from the 17^th floor of her Manhattan apartment building. The woman, an ad executive, was on her balcony having a cigarette when the railing apparently gave way.

It is every internet browser's worst nightmare: Google searches and browser history lead the feds to their door. One Long Island woman set off an internet panic attack when she claimed she was visited by anti-terrorism authorities after she searched Google for pressure cookers. But local police have a different, much less sexy explanation.

You may remember Washington Post writer Sally Quinn, a human pearl earring, as the woman who uses her column space in one of America's most important newspapers to gossip about the minor turmoils of her own family. What does such riveting work afford the creepy Grande Dame of Washington Society, who is also married to former Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee? Why, an 8,000-square-foot mansion in one of D.C.'s toniest neighborhoods, of course.