—It seems to me that heterosexual marriage for the purposes of procreation is the very cornerstone of society. Any deviation, then, from this marital standard is contrary both to God’s natural and His moral law.—

Chris Brown's representative lays the blame of Brown's seizure yesterday on pressure from "the continued onslaught of unfounded legal matters and the nonstop negativity." This is some powerful hating, people.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who was filmed smoking crack cocaine, paid a visit to Toronto's Taste of Danforth Street festival tonight. He apparently got loaded. Above is a video of Ford posted to YouTube tonight, in which he protests to passersby that he hasn't been driving, stops for some photos, and mumbles some other unintelligible things. Below is another video from tonight, in which he appears to be carrying a to-go cup of coffee, perhaps to sober up. There's nothing wrong with a mayor tying one on now and again. Don't smoke crack.

The 14th annual Gathering of the Juggalos is currently underway at HogRock Campgrounds in Cave-In-Rock, Illinois. This afternoon, a body was found in one of the tents camped on site.

The United States will reopen 18 of the 19 American embassies and consulates it closed on Sunday due to an undisclosed terrorist threat, according to the Associated Press. The only embassy to remain shuttered for the time being will be that in Sanaa, Yemen.

The New York Daily News is reporting that reviled pop star Chris Brown suffered a seizure early this morning at a Hollywood recording studio. Brown allegedly suffered the seizure and then refused emergency responders' efforts to take him to a hospital.

This week, our correspondents loved up on Aubrey Plaza's alternative, alternative ego, complained about their careers, were perplexed about how Gawker could criticize something that was for sale, and made a silly (and glamorous!) incorrect correction to a popular 2008 article regarding photos of a disrobed Carla Bruni. Read these little epistolary wonders below!

Welcome to Annotate This, where we gather reviews, trailers, and annotate the posters for movies coming out this week. It will help you decide what to avoid, what to see, and what to pretend to see. Click on the image above to add your comments to the mix.

Because of his androgynous facial features, YouTuber user Jumbled is occasionally mistaken for a sex other than his own.

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner has flown the coop from two weeks of therapy designed to help him combat his urge to sexually harass women all the time. Filner was initially scheduled to be in therapy until August 19, but his chief of staff told reporters that the mayor started the program early and is now done.

Marie Claire recently asked Ghost of Christmas Past Taylor Swift to identify items "on" a bunch of hypothetical lists (and very literal objects) as part of a hard-hitting interview feature called "What's On." Among the items "on" Taylor Swift's....various things: shoes (ON HER FEET), why the remote in her hotel room won't work (ON HER MIND), and magnets (ON HER REFRIGERATOR DOOR).

On Sunday afternoon, large swaths of the so-called "dark net"—the network of web sites accessible only to people using the anonymity-enabling Tor software—went even darker than normal. The widespread blackout appears to be the result of an FBI sting, targeted at the trade of kiddie porn on the Tor Network. One cybersecurity researcher was watching the entire time, and offered Gawker a peek into one of the biggest attacks on the dark net in history.

A Thought Catalog essay headlined "I Got Yelled At By An Inner City Kid At A YMCA Camp" begins, "I never went to public school. This is probably for the best because frankly I don’t think I would have survived." Must read!

Gawker's resident expert on Juggalo culture, Camille Dodero, is attending the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, a five-day music festival hosted by Detroit's horrorcore rappers Insane Clown Posse, who proudly advertise themselves as the "Most Hated Band in the World." This is the first of her dispatches.

In a lengthy press conference this afternoon, President Obama touched on everything from Russia's codified homophobia to Edward Snowden to Al-Qaeda. The strangest moment, however, came when Obama started in on a metaphor about his wife not trusting that he did the dishes, and how that is kind of like Americans not trusting their government's surveillance programs. Maybe he just needs to show everyone the dishes, you know? See how that works? No? Well, he tried.

If you're inclined to run away from an Ohio State Highway Patrolman, now would be a good time, because their shoes are garbage.

The first trailer for the new season of Homeland is here, and it features this fleeting shot of what we assume is Carrie's notebook.

A terrible, honking specter with a hole in his head and a heart ossified by hate will soon return to haunt the skies above Boston, taunting the mortals below and hissing in the face of their “God."

It's not every day that someone actually buys Domino's Pizza on purpose and then proceeds to enjoy what they bought.

"Zen" is more than just the sound that a wasp makes; it is a way of life. Think of life as a path through a dark forest. Now think of zen as either a torch, or a set of written instructions, or possibly a Power Bar in your fanny pack. Together, we will figure out what zen koans are "all about."