Cord Jefferson · 09/30/13 07:57PM

The House just voted 228 to 201 to keep the government open while delaying Obamacare's individual mandate and canceling insurance subsidies for members of Congress. Senate Democrats have promised to reject the bill within an hour. We're three hours away from shutdown.

Man Named Fudge Arrested for Stealing Desserts

Lacey Donohue · 09/30/13 07:45PM

From experience, I know having a suggestive adjective as a first name can lead to a lot of teasing, but at least I’m not Conor P. Fudge, the man accused of stealing ice cream and cakes from a Cold Stone Creamery store in Iowa City, Iowa. 25-year-old Fudge will never live down the fact that he was caught on camera stealing all sorts of ice cream, cakes, cash, and hopefully some mix-ins (the good mix-ins, not the gummy bears that freeze the second they hit the ice cream) from his former employer.

The Backstory of the Ricin Letter Sent To Obama Is Absolutely Cuckoo

Camille Dodero · 09/30/13 06:02PM

Last spring, after a ricin-tainted letter was sent to President Obama, the FBI arrested Paul Kevin Curtis, an Elvis impersonator and Prince super-fan from Mississippi, on suspicion of mailing the poison correspondence. But then a week later, charges against Curtis were dropped and soon another Mississippi musician was taken into custody, Tae Kwon Do instructor J. Everett Dutschke, who turned out to be Curtis's bitter rival. In the October issue of GQ, author/writer Wells Tower digs into the feud and the whole thing gets weirder—so so so much weirder.

This Hornet Will Be the Last Thing You See Before You Die

Caity Weaver · 09/30/13 05:29PM

It's no secret that Earth has got a lot of problems and, if you live here, you already know that I am talking about wasps. There are so many wasps here. Each one is a problem. According to recent reports out of China, 21 people have died as a result of wasp stings over the past three months in the province of Shaanxi alone. It might be time to just pack up our bags and return to the moons we came from. Might be time to turn Earth over to the wasps.

Obama to House GOP: You Don't Get to Extract Ransom for Doing Your Job

Cord Jefferson · 09/30/13 05:18PM

A little more than six hours away from a potential government shutdown, and one day before the Affordable Care Act's open enrollment begins, President Obama addressed the nation—and recalcitrant House Republicans—about the possibility that the U.S. government may partially close.

Rich Juzwiak · 09/30/13 05:07PM

"I love Madonna to death, but she's never going to give me that damn baton. I'll probably turn into more of a Joni Mitchell," says Katy Perry, who apparently has never listened to Joni Mitchell or tried to pry anything from her cold, dead painter hands.

Cord Jefferson · 09/30/13 03:59PM

Another middle-aged writer (Elizabeth Wurtzel) is disappointed in the youth and the internet: "It does not make sense that Lena Dunham with her inexcusable thighs seems to be the only twentysomething success story in the world of high art and entertainment. That is just too crazy."

Study: You Are Drinking So Much Wine

Hamilton Nolan · 09/30/13 03:57PM

Lah dee da, look at you, Ms. Classy, sipping on some wine, right out of a wine glass. No pulls of Popov straight from the bottle for you! Only the best, when it comes to drinking. The fact is, ma'am, you are drunk. And no wonder. You have no idea how much you're drinking.

What "Sellouts" Were

Hamilton Nolan · 09/30/13 02:00PM

Once upon a time not so long ago, there was an idea: that some things in this world should be able to exist free from the influence of money—that these things should be done because of their own intrinsic value. You would be forgiven for scoffing at the notion that this idea was ever taken seriously at all.