Would you pay $21 for a green tea? Well, if you were cultured, you would, you goddam heathen. But since we can't take you out anyplace nice, let's instead swig our swirled leaves with Ryan Sutton, the food critic for Bloomberg News and enjoyer of one fat night in Chicago.

You had one job, Wisconsin National Guard funeral pallbearers, and it didn't involve you posing all gangsta-like with the casket.

If your religion is apeshit racist ring-wingnut douchery with a side of tabloid pablum, WorldNetDaily is your online Jerusalem, pilgrim. Be sure to bring it a big offering, though: Google is blocking ads from popping up on the site over its obsession with "black mobs."

The Nybro Action Team consists of Hjalmar Sveinbjőrnsson and Alex Bejerstrand, two under-employed friends and former Nybro residents now living in northern Sweden. Hjalmar is a student and a chef; Alex helps run his father's talent agency. They will be recapping Season 3 of HBO's Girls.

What does Chevron owe the people of a small Pennsylvania town after two of the oil giant's fracking wells exploded and burned for five days? A free pizza and a two-liter bottle of soda, that's what. At least that's better than being immediately killed in the explosion.

This is a perfect moment of television: Kathie Lee Gifford provided the set and then Elaine Stritch spiked an F-bomb right in her face earlier on the Today show.

The months-long standoff between Ukraine's strongarm pro-Russian president and opposition protesters in the streets of Kiev, the capital, has turned grisly in recent hours, with 18 deaths reported in clashes between police and the demonstrators. This gripping livestream is being broadcast from Kiev's main square:

George Soros, one of history's most successful investors, has wagered $1.3 billion that the U.S. stock market is going to crash soon. The average American is wagering the opposite.

He. Can't. Shut. Up. In a new interview today, we learn George Zimmerman "absolutely" thinks he's a victim, just like "our fallen soldiers"; that he doesn't defend himself against enemies he calls "dragons"; and that he's never been racist, is always armed, and is living "the most Christlike that I can."

A study by the Chinese army shows its troops are significantly fatter and taller than they were 20 years ago, meaning the average soldier won't be able to fit into the communists' tanks or behind their rifle butts soon. They should make awesome capitalist CEOs one day, though.

Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, Countess of Strathearn, Earl of Grantham, Downton of Abbey, was made to formally reject the devil on Sunday, when she attended the christening of her new godchild.

Here are more shots from inside the dead White Flint Mall. Muzak still plays where the people no longer do.

A refugee from the Democratic Republic of North Korea who spent six years in one of that nation's harshest gulags has shared his chilling illustrations of its conditions with the UN High Commission on Human Rights.

Today Kevin Roose of New York magazine unveiled his party notes from a bizarre initiation/hazing ceremony held by the Wall Street fraternity Kappa Beta Phi in January 2012, which Roose managed to sneak into and write about in his new (and very good) book, Young Money: Inside the Hidden World of Wall Street’s Post-Crash Recruits.

Anyone who's been "downrange" in America's overproduced theater of war knows that its performers run on nicotine and caffeine: coffee for some, fizzy-sugary energy bombs for others. (Rip-Its, anyone?) But you know what's cheaper and easier for Uncle Sam to import to the battlefield? Arcs and sparks!

"Why Don't We Have a Monogamy App?" Ann Friedman asks in her latest New York magazine story. Yeah. Why don't we?

This is Pussy Riot's two most famous members—tweeting a selfie from the back of a police wagon in Sochi.

The food industry has a generally glum outlook for sales in the coming year. But there is a bright spot: the portion of Americans buying gluten-free food has more than doubled in the past three years. Why?

In the midst of a crippling economic crisis that has left more than five million citizens unemployed—leaving a staggering 52% percent of people under 25 out of work—Spain's government is looking to change both culture and time in order to reverse the financial decline.

According to Nigerian tabloid the Osun Defender, a restaurant in Anambra, Nigeria was raided by police on Thursday when they were tipped off about their cannibal menu. Among the items that were found in the raid were two cellophaned human heads, two AK-47 rifles, two army caps, forty rounds of live ammunition, and "so many cell phones."