Nicholas Barnes, a 20-year-old third-year student at the University of Chicago, was found decomposing in his dorm after what coroners believe to be a week from his death. Investigations began when students noticed a "foul smell" coming from his room in the International House, where Barnes lived alone.

While Woody Allen shuffled out of a matinee performance of After Midnight at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre this Saturday, one audience member loudly proclaimed, "I think he did it!" Depending on your preferred interpretation of semantics, this could mean the heckler was still unsure of Allen's guilt, or confirming that they believed the allegations.

Art imitated art in Miami this afternoon when painter Maximo Caminero wielded a precious $1 million vase made by Chinese artist Ai Weiwei and threw it on the ground. He is now facing criminal charges, but has vowed to "answer all the questions."

Bill de Blasio may be New York's tallest acquisition since Carmelo Anthony, but height does not always bring happiness. You know that precariously stacked tower of Raisin Bran at the corner deli? The mayor may be able to pull the highest one down with ease, but that doesn't mean he won't also become permanently blinded by your murderous umbrella handling.

1. A snake
2. A Winnie the Pooh bear
3. A sense of dignity
4. Nappies, as in mini naps
5. Nappies, as in the British slang for "diapers"
6. A bicycle
7. A fax machine
8. A pair of jeans
9. A post-medieval understanding of the modern sewer system and its basic functions

Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni announced that he would be signing a bill punishing homosexuality with life in prison to rapturous cheers from lawmakers.

"I think my brother is gay and it's normal and I love him so much," said the woman above on Friday's episode of Nightline. And with that she quietly, firmly, and bravely protested against the country that has institutionally subjugated her brother.

Think about the last time you saw a clown. Was it dead? Jerking its rigor mortised limbs in an eerie approximation of gaiety? Did a child toddle up to the clown and tug the hem of its grubby, moth-eaten sleeve to request a balloon crown, and did the clown's arm detach itself completely from its socket with a horrible crunch and did the dead, heavy weight of the arm—and the angle of the yank and the velocity at which it was traveling—all align so that when the limb fell down to dusty earth, it took the child with it? And were you not able to get a refund because company policy states that there are no refunds?

A Southern California man was beaten, Tasered and burned by local cops who thought he was threatening them and didn't realize he was gesturing that he was deaf, according to a discrimination lawsuit he's filed in federal court.

"Don't stop paying attention to us after the Olympics," pleads a gay Russian activist who is going to be an extremely bitter man a few months from now.

An 885-foot-long asteroid will speed by the Earth tonight at 27,000 miles per hour, but what's the tie-in with the Winter Olympics? Well, it was "almost exactly" a year ago when another chunk of space rock actually exploded in the sky over Russia—and that's where Sochi is, in Russia!

Valentine's Day certainly left someone bitter. Kazakhstan, Russia, and Belarus have decided to ban lace underwear beginning in July. Some Kazakh women, at least, are not going to take the decision lying down.

By now, you've probably heard of Miranda Barbour, self-professed teen murderess: The 19-year-old claims to have killed more than 20 people across the country, all for her two loves: Satan and her hubby. Is it a chilling super-killer's confession, or is it bullshit? Here's what we know:

What is your ultimate fate? Take our quiz below!

You probably like bunnies. How about several dozen bunnies?

Even if you are a famous author published by a top publishing house and celebrated in rarefied literary circles, you will never write anything better than the description of a self-published author's book.

When Deisy Garcia was threatened by her husband, she filed a report with her local police precinct. Then she and her children were murdered–and critics believe they'd still be alive if police had translated her report, which she wrote in Spanish.

[Russia's Ilya Burov crashes after landing during men's freestyle skiing aerials qualifying at the 2014 Winter Olympics on Monday. Image via Andy Wong/AP.]

Decades of accumulated weather data show that Los Angeles, California has more pleasant days per year than any other city in America, which is all the more reason to bulldoze Los Angeles and move New York City there.