Last night’s GOP debate showed idiot-shepherd Donald Trump lean away from his usually rhetorical tactic of bragging about money, and instead embracing babies. Babies, babies, babies—the man is crazy for babies. Baby? Babe?

The baby talk was focused on two sorts: sinister leeching Mexican babies, which we should protect our borders against with an enormous wall, and gorgeous autistic babies being pumped full of vaccines, which cause autism. One notable beautiful baby he didn’t talk up was his daughter, with whom he would very much like to have sex. But who’s got time for incest when you’ve got to pull vaccine needles out of a gorgeous baby, baby? Baby, don’t poison the babies, unless they are Mexican babies.

Contact the author at biddle@gawker.com.
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