Tarnation! Have you tried to buy bacon lately? ("No, I'm a vegetarian," you say... I WISH. Yeah right). Damn! That pig meat is expensive as all get out these days!

Heck! Just look at how expensive that nasty pork meat is these days. Get right out of town! Bloomberg reports: pigs—not so cheap, any more!

Declining supplies of pigs that resulted from a deadly virus that spread across 30 states since the outbreak began last year have pushed up retail-bacon prices 10 percent in 2014 to $6.106 a pound in June, the highest since at least 1980, government data show. Wholesale pork-belly costs doubled, reaching a record $2.0353 a pound in April, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

And what was that "deadly virus" that killed so many pigs and made your nasty meat so expensive. I will tell you the god's honest truth taken directly from a reputable news outlet: it was the "deadly porcine epidemic diarrhea virus."

So hey, go ahead and stop eating that nasty meat. But if you must have your bacon—and can't afford the high prices—just marinate a slice of bologna in a bowl of diarrhea, and then fry that baby up. You won't be able to tell the difference. Ooo-wee!

[Photo: Flickr]