Food simulacra purveyor McDonald's has announced that it will "take actions" to "phase out" the use of gestational crates—tiny little pens for pregnant pigs that don't allow the pregnant pigs to turn around for four months, fucking them up in all sorts of ways—among the company's pork suppliers. "There are alternatives that we think are better for the welfare of sows," a McDonald's executive said in a statement that was probably a real chuckle for pregnant pigs. "I'll say!" said the tortured pigs with a good-natured laugh.

One expert tells the NYT that "no easy alternative to sow stalls existed because feeding pigs is complicated by their hierarchical nature." False. You can stop eating pigs.

On February 13, 2012, the world's best restaurant decided to maybe stop torturing mom pigs at some point in the future.

[Photo: AP]