Most Loathsome Gawker Characters of 2011
Many were loathed in 2011; these are the ones we call our own. This is not a list of the world's most loathsome characters. This is (with apologies to the NY Press) a list of Gawker's most loathsome characters. Learn them. Love them. Loathe them.
Rich Hil
2011 was the year of the awful celebukid rapper. Tom Hanks' son CHET HAZE paved the way. But while Chet is a bad, bad rapper, he does seem well-meaning. The same can't be said for Rich Hil, son of Tommy Hilfiger. Not only does he seem completely unaware this remarkably whiny, drug-centric lyrics are a clear demonstration that he lives the life of a rich, self-indulgent wastrel; he also invited us to suck his dick. Yo, you live in the Plaza. Your daddy pays for you to live in The Plaza, do lots of drugs, and make music that sounds like a poor knockoff of Devin the Dude. You are loathsome.
Roger Ailes
In 2011, evil fat propagandist toad Roger Ailes was proven (again) by multiple media profiles to be a paranoid right wing psychopath who used a town's police force as his personal security guards and spied on employees of his own newspaper, because, as mentioned before, he is a paranoid maniac. In addition to running Fox News, which is, of course, plenty of evil on its own. What will 2012 bring for the saggy prince of lies? We can't wait to find out!
Crazy Literary Agent Mark Kelley
If at first you don't succeed, turn up the craziness a notch, and then repeat, until literary success is achieved.
Radiohead Prank Guy
The entire Occupy Wall Street movement is full of heroes and villains. Heroic protesters, villainous cops, craven politicians, etc. Then there's Malcolm Harris, the jerk who tricked thousand of New Yorkers into showing up at OWS for a Radiohead concert that was never going to happen. He's not as loathsome as Pepper Spray Cop. He's not as loathsome as Bloomberg and his private army. But he's especially loathsome in a Gawker-centric way.
Scott Adams
This guy! First he created the comic strip Dilbert. That's bad enough. Then, he went on message boards pretending to be someone else in order to point out to detractors that he, Scott Adams, is a "certified genius." When he was busted for this, he blamed the internet. He is also a run-of-the-mill white nerd racist misogynist. He called us "pure evil" and "completely lazy." Hey—we are only partly evil. But you are completely loathsome. Dork.
Courtney Stodden
The fact that 16 year-old Courtney married a 51 year-old showbiz has-been is merely weird. But all the sex and money talk afterwards really, really creeps us out. You are disturbing, Courtney. Just stop... existing, if possible.
Meghan McCain
Barrett Brown
As the "face of Anonymous," Barrett Brown landed himself a nice book deal and cooked up a fake war against Mexican drug cartels. Which is a worse idea: coming out as "the face" of a secret group that perpetrates highly public crimes, or taunting the Zetas? It's a tie.
Donny Long
Failed porn actor who founded Porn Wikileaks, the crude and repulsive website that taunted and smeared porn stars by wielding personal information as a weapon, a case of mean childish spite disguised as a crusade for truth. Eventually, Long got a taste of his own medicine. He recently Skyped Adrian Chen to say, "Hey fag." Hey Donny.
Katie Roiphe
Rich privileged Ivy League white lady is wrong about everything except how to be a successful troll. The only people who should be more ashamed of themselves than Katie Roiphe are the editors who pay Katie Roiphe money to write for prestigious publications. Let's all try a little harder, in 2012.