Emma Watson is spotted kissing her costar. Charlie Sheen is going to die in a "meat explosion." Larry David is more popular with the ladies than Alexander Skarsgard. Sunday gossip doesn't care about its $2 trillion error.

  • Emma Watson is dating someone! Is it Ron? Sadly, no; it's Johnny Simmons, her costar in the upcoming Perks of Being a Wallflower. But who is this mysterious man? You may recognize him as Amanda Seyfried's boyfriend in Jennifer's Body or one of the guys in the band in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World; he is charmingly described by the Daily Mail as having "a past in the tradition of Southern 'good ol' boys,'" because he was arrested once for underage drinking, and that's what "Southern 'good ol' boys'" do. (They also sing "this'll be the day that I die.") In June, her publicist shot down rumors that the two were dating, but they were photographed making out this week in Los Angeles. According to a source "[h]e stayed overnight at least one night this week," so I guess his car wasn't working or something? A quick Google search reveals: He is a handsome, sorta goofy guy who has had a series of horrendous haircuts. And also he actually sort of... looks like Watson? Is it just me? [Daily Mail]
  • Charlie Sheen is now bi-winning full time, and will no longer appear on Two and a Half Men. But how will his character get killed off? Spoiler alert! Snape kills him. Kidding, he gets hit by a train in Paris in a "meat explosion," after which his energy is absorbed into the universe and he becomes a kind of non-corporal consciousness, less a ghost than an eternal watcher, an observer at the edge of being, forbidden from interfering in the doings of men, contemplating existence unto oblivion. [TMZ]
  • Speaking of meat: Does the crew of Two and a Half Men like Ashton Kutcher? is a question that literally no one has asked. And yet we have an answer: "Sure, I guess." According to an anonymous source, ""Everything so far is smooth. A little too soon to tell, but Ashton seems very likable and professional." The news is expected to exert a stabilizing influence when the Asian markets open tonight. [TMZ]
  • Larry David was surrounded by women at some party—and Alexander Skarsgard wasn't—possibly because David was wearing a suit made of magnets and all the women at the party were required to wear metal helmets. [NYDN]
  • Alec Baldwin is selling his apartment, in case you have $9.5 million lying around and want to live on Central Park West. [Page Six]
  • Here is a new career option for David Beckham: Model for those posters of handsome men holding babies that are sold at college stores. [Radar Online]
  • Opera singer Andrea Bocelli played the flute for passengers on an East River ferry. Next week he will breakdance on the Manhattan-bound A train. [Page Six]

[image via Splash]