Ashton Kutcher, new papa, ham-fisted tweeter, adulterer, tech mogul, Bears fan, has lived quite a life in his 36 years. His biography is full of interesting crannies. For instance: He dated January Jones. His favorite cigarette is the filtered Lucky Strike. He is a student of Jewish mysticism. He had a girlfriend who was murdered.
Talentless human scabs Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have welcomed a child into this world. Mazel tov to them. I retained slight hope that they might name their baby something cool, like Leah Finnegan, but alas—reality serves to annihilate the possibility that celebrities might make good choices. And thus Ashton and Mila have named the baby girl Wyatt Isabelle.
Ashton Kutcher may have finished playing the part of Steve Jobs in the upcoming biopic Jobs, but that doesn't mean he's quite ready to give up the role.
On Friday in Los Angeles, a young old woman named Demi Moore sold all her beautiful hair for $20, so she would have some money to buy a fine Christmas present for her husband Ashton. After ransacking the stores for hours, she finally came upon the perfect gift: a platinum fob chain for his treasured pocketwatch.
TMZ has obtained photos of Ashton Kutcher in costume as Steve Jobs for the biopic he's filming, tentatively titled Jobs: Get Inspired. (Note: An earlier version of this story included one of the Kutcher-as-Jobs photos, but Pacific Coast News sold those exclusively to TMZ, so just click the damn link.)
In the latest episode of his real-talk web series "The Truth," Indian-American comedian Hasan Minhaj explains why the casual racism in that indefensibly dumb Ashton-Kutcher-in-brownface PopChips ad wasn't so much their fault as the fault of a culture that treats Asians and Indians as the new "clownable minorities."
Update your Twitter address books accordingly — Demi Moore has changed her Twitter handle from @mrskutcher (a reference to soon-to-be-ex husband Ashton Kutcher) to @justdemi. It's not exactly the most exciting development, but for Moore fans horrified by her insistence on keeping an Ashton-related handle, this is the dawn of an important new era.
The first thing everyone on the internet—or everyone on Twitter, at least—remarked when Demi Moore announced her divorce from dangling Chad Ashton Kutcher was, "What is she going to do about her Twitter handle?!" Moore has been known as @MrsKutcher for years, what will she do now? Nothing, so stop asking!
Daniel Craig ridicules Kourtney Kardashian's placenta. Kellan Lutz gives himself a "Hitler Youth" hairdo. Ali Lohan wonders whether Dina will let her get plastic surgery. Ashton Kutcher hangs out with a cow. Wednesday gossip is full of hate.
The Willis-Moore-Kutcher empire is quickly disintegrating. Granted Ashton Kutcher has little to do with the sprawling 8,403 square feet Idaho home once owned by Demi and Bruce, but he stayed there once or twice. So, I don't know. Bruce always seemed like a "what's mine is yours" kind of guy to me and this is just one more sign of the times, yet another end of an era.
Scotty McCreery misses his cue. Brad Pitt wasn't always a tragically overweight, dumpy-looking urchin with a comb-over. Kim Kardashian exposes herself to The Poors and learns the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Today's Gossip Roundup is sitting on the couch with some turkeys, playing video games and eating pumpkin pie topped with mashed potatoes instead of Cool Whip.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher had an open marriage—because Moore "didn't always get all she needed from Ashton." Prince Harry parties it up in Las Vegas. And Kris Humphries has a sad. Saturday's gossip is also in an open marriage with Ashton. Very open.
Lady Gaga marks her dressing rooms with urine in surprising places. Jessica Simpson plans to give birth in 4-inch Yves Saint Laurent heels. Rihanna is horny and not getting laid enough. Nicki Minaj wants to use a vibrator in front of children. Friday gossip has needs.
