Hard-Partying Northwestern Students Thwarted by 'Brothel Law'
Evanston, Illinois, the home of Northwestern University, plans to start enforcing a "brothel law" that prevents more than three unrelated people from sharing a house or apartment. Why would they bother? To cut down on college parties, of course.
Known for their epic ragers, blackface Halloween parties, and celebrity spawn rappers, Northwestern has developed a bit of a reputation for its rowdy students. The town of Evanston is now reacting by enforcing an outdated zoning ordinance in the hopes that it will disperse the student population and keep them from streaking about the streets spewing expletives and garbage in their wake. The university has chosen not to fight the town's decision and is urging students to obey the law or find off-campus housing that's not located in Evanston. That's a great solution: "Sorry, kids, now that you've paid a fortune for your education, you're going to have to take the bus to school!"
Trying to stop college kids from partying is like trying to keep bears from shitting in the woods. If you push them out of their housing, they're just going to find new, inventive, and more annoying places to do gravity bong hits and drink too many Jell-O shots. And if there are fewer students in each apartment, that just means more room for kegs and the stands that accompany them.
You've earned your reputation as a party school, Northwestern. Now you gotta live with it.