northwestern
Zooey Deschanel Unappreciated at Northwestern
Max Read · 02/02/12 02:00PMZooey Deschanel Seen With Rabbit-Shaped Bag
Max Read · 01/19/12 06:02PMUrgent! Chet Hanks Needs Help Finishing His Final Paper
Lauri Apple · 12/05/11 07:08AMFucksaw U Students Warned of Shower Masturbator
Max Read · 11/29/11 12:10AMIn May, Northwestern University cancelled "Fucksaw 101," officially known as "Human Sexuality," over its infamous live demonstration of a woman being fucked. Or sawed. Or whatever. But now, deviancy once again haunts the sex-crazed Northwestern campus, as this recent campus-wide email, sent to us by several tipsters, proves:
Watch Stephen Colbert's Hilarious Northwestern Commencement Speech
Matt Cherette · 06/17/11 05:56PMThis morning in Evanston, Illinois, Northwestern University's 2,800 graduating students gathered for commencement. On hand to give the commencement address? None other than alum Stephen Colbert of the class of '86, who delivered an uproarious 20-minute speech which squeezed in references to campus controversies like "Brothelgate" and a professor's infamous sex demonstration. It's embedded above for your enjoyment.
Northwestern Stops Offering a Minor in Fucksaw Sciences
Seth Abramovitch · 05/10/11 02:51AMThe fucksaw scandal that rocked Northwestern University to its very foundations, in which a psychology professor innocently hosted a demonstration of a motorized sex toy on a woman in front of 100 gape-jawed students, has reached its sad yet inevitable conclusion: Professor Michael Bailey's human sexuality class will no longer be offered at the school.
There's More Than One Sexy College in Chicago!
Hamilton Nolan · 03/18/11 10:12AMThere Is a Worldwide Fucksaw Shortage
Hamilton Nolan · 03/08/11 01:08PMAlert: It is now virtually impossible to buy a fucksaw. I know; I know. JT's Stockroom, which is apparently the world's leading and perhaps only supplier of genuine fucksaws ("You hold it like a gun, and drill into the ass or vagina with powerful and steady force"), is completely sold out: "Due to high demand, this item is temporarily unavailable. We apologize for any inconvenience. Please check back soon!"
Northwestern Hip Hop War: Ferocious Dis Track Brands Chet Haze a 'Turd'
Hamilton Nolan · 03/07/11 04:45PMFucksaw Professor (Sort of) Sorry for Demonstration
Jeff Neumann · 03/05/11 03:47PMFucksaw Experts Defend Hot Live Fucksaw Demonstration
Hamilton Nolan · 03/04/11 03:58PMThe story of a Northwestern University professor's Hot Live Fucksaw demonstration for ten dozen rapt college students has captivated the nation and, indeed, the world. After Northwestern prez Morton Schapiro vowed to keep investigating until he got all the way to the bottom of this fucksaw business, it was time for those directly involved in the handling and care of the fucksaw in question to speak out on what really happened in there. From the owner of the fucksaw:
Northwestern Prez Vows to Investigate Hot Live Fucksaw Action
Hamilton Nolan · 03/03/11 04:09PMNorthwestern University: so awesome, it's too awesome for the President of Northwestern University. The crusty ol' prez is "launching an investigation" into the recent hot sexxxy in-class fucksaw demonstration for a Northwestern psychology class. What's the matter, Morton Schapiro— didn't get enough hot live fucksaw action the first time around?
America's Greatest University Demonstrates 'Fucksaw' For Captivated Students
Hamilton Nolan · 03/02/11 01:29PMNorthwestern University simply cannot stop being awesome. From getting drunk and hollering about blowjobs to throwing blackface Halloween parties to producing a little rapper by the name of Chet Haze, Northwestern University never does anything less than the most awesome thing to do in any given situation. That's why regular schools have "Human Sexuality" classes, but Northwestern University has HOT LIVE FUCKSAW demonstrations: