"The white folks had sure brought their white to work with them that morning." — Chester Himes

If a bike thief didn't know he'd slipped up when he snatched Aaron Rush's new mountain bike, he's certainly aware of it now. Rush posted a "Dear Douchebag Bike Thief" letter all over the racks where the theft occurred, and it's since spread across Twitter and a number of U.K. news sites.

The unidentified Mercedes-driving grey-haired middle-aged California white man "wearing a white-collared shirt and aviator-style sunglasses" who killed a peacock with a pellet gun may be a strong contender for Douche of the Decade in 2020.

One in every ten New York residents does not have a bank account. Street homelessness is on the rise. Despite this, there seems to be a new bank branch on every corner. Why? The answer may not surprise you.

Get ready for some cold, hard science facts.

"Yes, yes - it was a stupid joke," Two and a Half Men co-creator Lee Aronsohn tweeted. "I'm sorry." Kind of a weak apology given how thoroughly he pissed everyone off.

Students at an Iowa high school got a strange surprise at an assembly last week when what had promised to be a (probably pretty boring) presentation about bullying and making good choices took the Christian NuMetal express train to Crazytown.

A former Los Angeles City Commissioner, 63-year old Al Abrams, made his first court appearance this afternoon to answer to charges of possessing and distributing child pornography even though he totally didn't do anything wrong. The real culprit was his split-personality, which, coincidentally, also manifests itself as 63-year old Al Abrams.

Hugh Hefner's 21-year-old son Marston Hefner was arrested late Sunday night on charges of domestic violence, so it will probably be at least a couple years before he's allowed to put on a dumb light show at the Grammys.

The first question you probably asked yourself when you got out of bed this morning was probably, "What insightful opinions can Ann Coulter share with me today?" And now you'll never now, thanks to the oppressive "douche bags" at Morning Joe, who bleeped out about 13 seconds of Coulter's hilariously edgy political commentary:

Last night, Chelsea Handler and co. unveiled and dissected E! Television's list of the Top 10 Douchebags of 2010. It is that time of year. Props to Chelsea for pointedly identifying the channel itself as the biggest douchebag of all.

Girls Gone Wild founder and certified douchebag Joe Francis is currently being sued by four women who say Francis coerced them into appearing in his X-rated films when they were underage. Well, that's now a free speech battle. How respectable!

Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis—the last man we can safely call a douchebag—sent us some half-literate legal threats after we named him Douche of the Decade. What's Joe up to now? Sending half-literate legal threats to bloggers, still.

Today we took a look at the epidemic of terrible college newspaper editorials about date rape, and one commenter wanted to clarify something for one of the fools who recently wrote such a "it's her fault!" screed.

With, let's say, 140% of the vote reporting, we are deeply ashamed to announce that Girls Gone Wild impresario Joe Francis is Gawker's Douche of the Decade.

Yesterday we offered you 15 exquisite choices in our quest to find who, pray tell, is the douchiest douchebag of the past decade. Today: Some are removed; one is honorarily honored; a Kade-style addition; and crucial second-round voting. Yes, crucial!

This has been the Decade of the Douchebag. There's no denying it. Though we've retired the term, we're bringing it back to identify the douche who was the douchiest. You get the chance to pick our winner.

A year ago, interrupty superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian filed America's Greatest Lawsuit when he sued rival flack Drew Kerr for $20 million(!) for setting up a website—RonnTorosianPR.com—with a picture of a douche ad on it. Douche sayswhat?

Where, exactly, are you supposed to start when the New York Times runs a Page One media piece on the word "douche"?

Ever since Jeremy Piven almost died from eating sushi and had his corpse turned into a thermometer by David Mamet, the world has been wondering, "How are Piven's mercury levels doing like these days?" Well, now we know.