Having softpedaled rumors of Steve Jobs's failing health, CNBC is falling over itself to catch up to the story — with embarrassing results.

In an intro to a segment, Power Lunch anchor Dennis Kneale, the BlackBerry-deprived crybaby, asks if Jobs had cancelled his keynote speech at tomorrow's Macworld Expo because of "PMS," alluding to the hormonal imbalance Jobs confessed to this morning in a letter posted on Apple's website. This sparked sputtering outrage from Silicon Valley correspondent Jim Goldman, who has proven to be a consistent Apple apologist. (A sample of his awestruck prose: "The power of technology. The power of Apple and Steve Jobs.") Kneale apologized at the end of the segment. Come on, Dennis! We hoped you might prove to be the one journalist at CNBC to escape Jobs's reality distortion field.