In your rumormongering Friday media column: rumors of Newsweek's bleak near future, another Rupert Murdoch paywall, buzzy broadcasters revealed, Dennis Kneale reportedly leaving CNBC, and Doug McKelway gets canned.

The layoffs at Forbes, which we first reported on three weeks ago, arrived today, and we hear from inside the magazine that they're "real big.... huge," with a rumored 50 or so editorial staff let go. (Updates: LA+London bureaus gone.)

• Rumor has it Condé Nast isn't going to shutter several of its money-losing magazines like Details and Teen Vogue, after all. But the budget review that's taken place in recent weeks seems to have "scared fiscal responsibility into some of the highest-rolling titles at the glitzy empire." This means Graydon Carter won't be making it to London or Milan Fashion Week, sadly. [NYP]
• Irving Kristol, the godfather of neo-conservatism, is dead at 89. [AP]
• Oprah has picked the next big best-seller. The latest pick for her book club is a set of short stories by Uwem Akpa called Say You're One of Them. [NYDN]
• After a 72-year run, Guiding Light's final episode aired today. [Reuters]
• CNBC has canceled Dennis Kneale's 8pm show on the network. [NYO]
• The Emmy Awards take place this Sunday. Who's going to win? If you watched last year's telecast, you may already have the answers. [WP]

Sporting some kind of hideous quarter-goatee, Kneale, then at Forbes, allowed the Today show to confiscate his BlackBerry, back in 2007. He surely though it would be a glorious publicity stunt on a national stage; that Kneale only lasted 40 hours out of a week indicates he lost control of the situation, and that his on-camera tears were real.

If half the rumors about Dennis Kneale are true, the CNBC host has good reason to fear bloggers and curse them on air. So why is he telling people privately that he manufactured his feud with bloggers for buzz?

• The New York Blade, one of the two big gay and lesbian newspapers in New York City, has suspended publication and laid off most of its staff. [NYT]
• How many books can you possibly read about Bernie Madoff? Who knows, but there at least four books about him scheduled to hit stores this fall. [Crains]
• David Rohde, the New York Times reporter who was kidnapped in Afghanistan with his translator in November and released a couple of weeks ago, returned to the Times newsroom to a standing ovation yesterday. [NYT]
• James Frey's young adult novel has been sold to HarperCollins. [NYT]
• Wonkette editor Ken Layne has sold a book to HarperCollins, too. [NYO]
• The battle between CNBC's Dennis Kneale and bloggers goes on. [Dealbreaker]

• Cablevision is planning to launch an entire cable network devoted to nothing but wedding shows. So now you'll be able to watch Bridezillas 24/7. Yay. [B&C]
• It may not be over for Vibe. Quincy Jones, who founded the magazine in '93, says he's looking into buying it back and keeping it alive as a website. [Ebony]
• Spin reportedly laid off 20 percent of its staff yesterday. [Gawker]
• Gannett Co., the largest newspaper publisher in the U.S. by circulation, is reportedly cutting between 1,000 and 2,000 jobs at the company. [WSJ]
• More bad news for CNN: MSNBC is now in front on weeknights and Campbell Brown's nightly show continues to plunge in the ratings, too. [NYT, TVBTN]
• CNBC's Dennis Kneale doesn't like it when bloggers mock him. Will acting like a nut on TV fix that? No, but it sure makes for amusing TV. [Dealbreaker]

We haven't followed Dennis Kneale's feud with financial bloggers, but it sounds hilarious: They call him "Beaker," "super dipshit," "clueless," and compare his show to a Saturday Night Live skit. Kneale wants the world to know.

Did you know that CNBC is not a financial network? It is in reality a wacky summer coming-of-age movie. It's anchors are characters, and you, the viewer, are a mixed-up 14-year-old. Let's watch some clips:

What's stupider than debating Wall Street bankers' bonuses? Using obscenities on live television while debating them! That's what Charlie Gasparino, CNBC's lovably loudmouthed on-air commentator did. Click for the clip and transcript.

If you were thinking that the stress of the economic meltdown isn't talking a toll on financial news reporters, well, it is. This morning CNBC's Charlie Gasparino got into a little on-air tiff with colleague Dennis Kneale. Skip ahead 35 seconds or so to see Gasparino tell Kneale he isn't a real reporter and Kneale respond by telling Gasparino he's damaging the CNBC brand. Gasparino, of course, is doing no such thing. That's what Jim Cramer is there to do!

Having softpedaled rumors of Steve Jobs's failing health, CNBC is falling over itself to catch up to the story — with embarrassing results.

The radical ups and downs afflicting the stock market would be enough to make anyone curse a blue streak — especially Dennis Kneale, the Media and Technology Editor at CNBC. One of our eagle-eyed tipsters was kind enough to pass along this priceless (silent) moment where a split-screened Kneale reads a note that's been passed to him and drops an f-bomb that he visibly regrets, then tries to cover up with the dorkiest "Wait, am I still on camera? Nothing to see here!" face imaginable. Oliver Stone, you can thank us later.

Breaking new media crush alert! The Financial Times columnist Francesco Guerrera went on CNBC this morning for a segment on how the financial crisis is so bad even newspapers read by stupid poor people are writing about it. Ooooh look it's on the cover of a Spanish paper and everyone knows Spanish speakers never met a dollar they didn't need to envia back to nineteen impoverished half-hermanos back in Santo Domingo! This, CNBC believes, is a signal for the superior intellects viewing CNBC to stop panic-selling all those stocks RIGHT NOW. Well, Francesco does not buy this logic.* Even when total idiot tool Dennis Kneale presents him with this turd of wisdom: "Come on, Francesco, you're young! You can make it back!" You know what? I'm not even going to get started on that. We'll have plenty of time to vilify him and his whole awful fact-resistant generation of denial dogmatists while we continuing not investing our nonexistent savings in the market.

Dennis Kneale joined his CNBC colleagues today in effusive praise of JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon. After Power Lunch host Bill Griffeth said Dimon was "very entertaining" at an FDIC event and "had a career as an after-dinner speaker," Kneale added that Dimon was a "guy talking about what he knows." And when Kneale's longtime nemesis Charles Gasparino argued that Dimon's comments should be treated more skeptically — "discounted by 50 percent... because there's a degree of flackery here" — Kneale strongly disagreed (clip after the jump). It's odd that Kneale is offering kind words for Dimon rather than bashing the dealmaker, given that Dimon thinks the CNBC talking head should be thrown in jail.

What happens when Forbes managing editor Dennis Kneale is forced to go one week without email, a cell phone, or his BlackBerry? The "Today Show" put him to the test. The result? Tears. (Within 40 hours!) Also laughter, but only on our part.