With hazmat-suited Harpo workers running Geiger counters over Jennifer Aniston on her way out of the Oprah Winfrey Show studios and failing to find even the slightest traces of irradiated uncoolness, we thought we were finally in the clear with regard to the deadly sexual politics meltdown to contaminate America's superstar love triangles. Alas, a new uncool hot spot has been identified in the Brangelina household, where Aniston-dumping Brad Pitt is reportedly fuming over his ex's totally uncool calling out of his current partner's uncoolness:

[A] source close to the Brangelina camp says Aniston's ex-husband called her to complain about the Vogue piece. [...] Another source, close to Jolie, said Wednesday that Pitt and Jolie were ''totally thrown'' by Aniston's Vogue interview, thinking she had already ''moved on ... and wouldn't want to reopen this old wound. At any rate, Aniston's spokesman is not commenting on the alleged Pitt call to Aniston, simply e-mailing, ''That's personal information. ... That really is no one's business.''

True, but Defamer has obtained an exclusive transcript of the tense conversation: [Ringtone: *I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME...I'M SO MOVIN' ON...YEAH, YE—*] Brad? How'd you know it was me? Because my phone plays "Since U Been Gone" whenever you call. But I've changed my number three times since we broke up. Yeah I know. [Beat.] Yeah, anyway...Uh, I think you probably know why I'm calling. Yeah—I do. Look, the movies are totally different, thematically, so I don't see us as being in direct competi— No. Not that. Oh. Then what? Not that 'Vogue' thing. Yes, that Vogue thing. Brad, that was taken TOTALLY out of context. What was the context? Well, the interview guy was like, "What did you think about Angelina talking about the two of you hooking up on Smith, and I was like, "What she did was very uncool." So how is that out of context? Well, like, he never said, this one's going on the cover. [Beat.] Look, I just wish you could move on. I HAVE moved on, Brad. This was all a hundred years ago! I said as much on Oprah! Fine. Oh, and could you tell your mom I can't wait to see 'By The Waters of Babylon' with her Saturday night? Doing this Geffen Playhouse subscription with her was the best— [*Click*]