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Like that old car wreck cliché, the John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston quasi-relationship remains shamefully impossible to look away from. So glance away we shall. After getting caught slobbering in pools, then attempting to trick photographers by making separate exits post-dinner in New York, the Cougar Queen and her cad were most recently spotted gazing into each other’s vacant eyes on Courteney Cox’s balcony. But last night marked a (Very Exciting!) turn of events in which the closeted couple boldly went where every closeted couple eventually goes: agreeing to be photographed side by side, smile to smile, with nary a sign of resistance. Where the so-boring-they’re-exciting couple grandly outed their union, and which enablers were present, after the jump.

The event in question was a snoozefest charity something-or-other at STK, filled with equally snooze-y dinner companions like Cox, her lesser half David Arquette, and easy-to-break-in-half Kate Bosworth. But more interesting than Aniston and Mayer's forced smiles is the fact that the charity was in honor of philanthropist Jeffrey Sachs, who happens to be very best buds with Brad Pitt and has done more than his fair share of charity work with Angelina Jolie. With revenge photos en vogue recently, could the clever Aniston have chosen this particular night to ensure her public boy toy outing would distract the expecting Brangelina from all that fancy Chosen Two cash burning?