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Let it never be said that partially mummified, softball-tossing talk show host Larry King does not have sneakily impressive interviewing skills. King long ago realized that the majority of his guests would probably be inclined to share more of themselves by pampering their hindparts with his desiccated lips (it should go without saying that some kind of balm is applied prior to contact to prevent an unpleasant chafing), rather than by feebly trying to press an orthopedic shoe into their throats. On last night's show, King's ability to put his interrogee at ease was on full display, as the host somehow managed to coax notoriously media-shy real estate developer Donald Trump into sharing his opinions on a variety of
current figures of pop culture interest, first following up on his thoughts about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. On Brad: Smart guy for narrowly dodging the marriage issue! Angelina: Eh, not even that attractive:

KING: OK, back to some thing current. You recently applauded Brad Pitt's stance on not marrying Angelina Jolie. I believe you said that you consider everyone — when he said everyone should be married but don't bug him, why?

TRUMP: Well, look, number one, I know her father. Her father is a nice guy. I think she treats him like a dog but maybe they have some kind of a thing.

KING: Yes, why, he's a good guy?

TRUMP: I mean this poor sap he comes along and he practically begs her, "I want to see my grandson. I want to see this." I mean if I were with him, I'd say "Forget it. It's over."

KING: He's also a great actor, Jon Voight.

TRUMP: I think he's a great actor and she just treats him terribly. She's been with so many guys she makes me look like a baby, OK, with the other side. And, I just don't even find her attractive. That has nothing to do with why I said it though.

He made that statement, right, and he made it like he's doing this wonderful thing for humanity. I think he probably made it just because he doesn't want to get married, which is, you know, not so bad.

KING: You've been quoted...

TRUMP: But I'm not a fan of hers as you probably noticed.

The highlights of Trump's audition reel for E!'s 101 Super-Sizzlin' Celebrities follow, in which he explains why he's had a change of heart about Kevin Federline (he's a fan of The Donald), his opinion on Paris Hilton's looks (seems prefer her to Jolie), and on King himself (handsome man):

KING: You've been quoted as saying that something doesn't look right between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, what?

TRUMP: Right. Well, it just doesn't look right and here's the problem. I was really attacking him because I have a radio show that's a very successful show. You know it's like a Paul Harvey 60- second deal, the Clear Channel. They're great. They set it up in my office and I do it.

And, I was attacking him and then somebody said, because, you know, I didn't he was right for her in all fairness. Hey, look what happened to her, she's a mess. So, what happens now is I heard the other day that his all-time hero is Donald Trump.

KING: Oh!

TRUMP: So, now what I said, "I think he's a great guy. He's fantastic." You know when somebody likes you, you say "Hey." So, I totally changed my mind. I think Kevin Federline is fantastic.

[...]

KING: We were both at a party together thrown by the Hilton family in Los Angeles.

TRUMP: Right.

KING: What do you make of all this Paris Hilton stuff?

TRUMP: Well, you have to understand I've known Paris for many years. I have known Paris...

KING: Since she was a kid right?

TRUMP: ...when she was a little baby and I know the parents very well and they're really nice people. And I think Paris isn't getting enough credit. She was another one. You have Kevin Federline but you have Paris. Paris said she wants to build a brand just like Donald Trump and I don't know if she's done it the same way but she is smart like a fox.

You know, people say "Oh she's not smart. She's not this. She's not that." She's done a very good job. When they pay her $25,000 or $50,000 or $100,000 to show up to a party, she's making a lot of money and she gets criticized all the time.

I also happen to think that I believe she's very beautiful. A lot of people don't agree with me, you know. Some people say "Oh, she's really not." I happen to think she's very beautiful. But, Paris has done really a good job in building a brand for herself.

KING: But is that in itself a talent?

TRUMP: Well, I think everything is a talent. I think that she — if she didn't have a good look, she wouldn't be able to do it. She'd have to do something else. But she happens to be born with a great look. If that look weren't there, she couldn't do that. You know look is important in life, Larry. That's why you're so successful. You're a handsome man.