Jennifer Aniston Solves The Break-Up Mystery
Page Six reports that an interview with Jennifer Aniston for Vanity Fair will finally solve the "mystery" of her break-up with Brad Pitt. And it wasn't because she didn't want to interrupt her career with a wombful of Pitt's freakishly perfect genes, because she totally wanted that:
Contrary to early speculation, "She told Bennetts she did want babies with Brad, and that starting a family wasn't the issue," one source told PAGE SIX. "The issue was Brad cheated . . . and she is appalled by the 'family photos' coming out in W." Brad and Angelina posed with pretend kids as one big happy family in the upcoming monthly.
Who could've known that the answer to this Sphinx-like riddle was "Angelina Jolie's vagina"? Those suburban family pictures in W were a big misdirect, though; if Pitt and Jolie were really trying to leave us some clues, they would've asked the photographer to shoot them fucking in front of some lions in Africa.