Thanks to budget cuts, the New York City Department of Transportation has stopped its graffiti removal program. Good, cause graffiti is cool.

In New York City, you find subcultures for every sexual persuasion, bars dedicated to every football team, and food from every nation on earth. Hell, you can even find a few hundred people who support Ted Cruz.

The New York City municipal government would like for the city’s hordes of can collectors to stop collecting cans from curbside garbage. Hey: just let them collect the damn cans.

“A majority of New Yorkers who earn more than $100,000 a year feel they’re likely to be priced out of their neighborhood, according to a new poll.”

As we near ever closer to Kristin Cavallari’s literary debut and the sweet release of death, new details about the promotional schedule for Balancing in Heels have emerged. Today Kristin announced that she plans to embark on a cross-country “book tour” next month, making stops in “NYC, Chicago, and LA.”

After a New York teenager gave a panhandler $1 last week, police say the panhandler hugged him and said “God bless you,” while stealing the boy’s $500 iPhone. The priceless lesson he received is a bargain at $501.

A large construction crane collapsed onto a street in Manhattan’s densely-populated TriBeCa neighborhood on Friday morning. According to the New York City Fire Department, one death and fifteen injuries have been reported so far. Several vehicles parked on Worth Street, onto which the crane fell, were crushed by the structure.

Drones, man. They’re up to no good, and so are the people who fly them.

A pair of New York City police officers were shot at a public housing complex in the Bronx Thursday night, according to authorities.

Bill Bratton, the head of the NYPD, presides over an army of 35,000 officers and dictates law enforcement policy for a sprawling metropolis. He is also scared of riding the subway.

A New York man was arrested for bank robbery last week after he robbed five banks in a single day. Hey man, don’t rob so many banks.

Amid all of humanity’s fantastical projections of future technology, one stands out: we may live to see a day when it is impossible to piss between moving New York City subway cars.

In metaphor news today, a New York City man dressed as the Statue of Liberty was arrested for “aggressive begging.”

Over the weekend, a group of street artists took advantage of New York’s desolate, snow-caked roads in order to paint a crude memorial honoring David Bowie. Unfortunately, the tribute is bad and makes no sense.

A total of 19 people died in weather-related incidents this weekend, after an enormous blizzard swept across the eastern half of the U.S.

It has come to our attention that some trolls and anarchists have been spreading false information about urban transportation efficiency—right when people need the truth the most. We are here to assure you that is always right to walk down an escalator.

When a young person moves to “The Big Apple,” the experience can be so overwhelming that he is moved to write a powerful essay about it in noted millennial blogspot Thought Catalog. What’s that? Or, uh, National Review, sometimes.

This graffiti appeared in the wee hours of Monday morning, directly beneath a Trump-branded Manhattan apartment tower.

Homeless people are sleeping on public property. What shall we do?