NY1 news anchors: Cursed? Portly (former) political anchor Dominic Carter ruined his own career by beating his wife and trying to squirm out of it by name-dropping. Now, another anchor's dad is critically injured in a crack pipe fire.

Cursed NY1 political anchor Dominic Carter was found guilty of assaulting his wife on Friday, after a judge called his wife's last-minute "an unidentified man did it" reversal "preposterous." Carter spent the weekend being screwed by fate, and the media.

• Oprah got all teary today when she announced she'll end her talk show two years from now. Meanwhile her upstart cable network announced it'll launch in January 2011, eight months before her talk show goes off the air. [EW, THR]
• Oprah isn't the only one planning her goodbyes. Bill Moyers announced today that he's retiring and will wrap up his weekly PBS show in April 2010. [NYT]
• Former NY1 anchor Dominic Carter was found guilty of misdemeanor attempted assault today for roughing up his wife last year. [NYDN]
• Last night's season finale of Project Runway was the highest-rated episode of the season; meanwhile, winner Irina Shabayeva describes what's next for her.
• The new Twilight sequel, New Moon, isn't just causing excitable teens to pass out in droves. It's also on track to break a few box office records. [AFP, AP]
• More on the bloodshed at BusinessWeek the past few days. [FBNY]
• Tina Brown has herself a new right-hand man at The Daily Beast. [NYP]
• Yet another book by reality TV star Lauren Conrad is on the way. [NYDN]
• Phil Falcone's Harbinger has cut his stake in the Times once again. [Reuters]
• The scariest news ever: Lou Dobbs has left open the possibility that he'll make a run for the White House in 2012. And he wasn't kidding. [Reuters]

Here is big fancy comedian David Letterman last night, mocking the relaxed on-the-scene reporting style of beloved NY1 animal-handling journalist Roger Clark. Mr. Letterman, that man you so heartlessly deride is an excellent bowler.

Declarative former NY1 newsman Dominic Carter already lost his job for unseemly name-dropping in court while on trial for beating his wife, then got barred from boarding a flight just because he exists. Can his week get worse? Yes, much.

One week ago, Dominic Carter was a well-respected stout political news anchor on NY1. Now he's just an unemployed dude who can't even get on a plane. Flight attendants now have far more power in New York than Dominic Carter.

Burly NY1 desk-sitter Dominic Carter, host of Inside City Hall, has problems. Legal problems. Marriage problems. Job problems. Media problems. Name-dropping problems. Political problems. Quite a few problems. We'll itemize.

This isn't shaping up to be a very good day for local TV news personalities. Mike Sheehan, the former cop and Fox 5 reporter who was dismissed from his job this spring after crashing his car into an NYPD horse has pleaded guilty to drunk driving charges. Meanwhile NY1 political anchor Dominic Carter goes to court today on charges he beat up his wife. [NYDN, NYP]

• Cablevision is planning to launch an entire cable network devoted to nothing but wedding shows. So now you'll be able to watch Bridezillas 24/7. Yay. [B&C]
• It may not be over for Vibe. Quincy Jones, who founded the magazine in '93, says he's looking into buying it back and keeping it alive as a website. [Ebony]
• Spin reportedly laid off 20 percent of its staff yesterday. [Gawker]
• Gannett Co., the largest newspaper publisher in the U.S. by circulation, is reportedly cutting between 1,000 and 2,000 jobs at the company. [WSJ]
• More bad news for CNN: MSNBC is now in front on weeknights and Campbell Brown's nightly show continues to plunge in the ratings, too. [NYT, TVBTN]
• CNBC's Dennis Kneale doesn't like it when bloggers mock him. Will acting like a nut on TV fix that? No, but it sure makes for amusing TV. [Dealbreaker]

Tina Brown told NY1 tonight that the internet is a lot like theater; the audience gives instant feedback. But what to do about hecklers? Brown's two college-aged children knew: Heckle back, viciously and covertly.

"In the Papers," as you know unless you have the grave misfortune to live somewhere where you are unable to enjoy Pat Kiernan's calm visage and dulcet tones in the morning, is a segment where Pat leafs through the morning papers, pointing out the stories that are interesting to Pat Kiernan. Now Pat's going to "expand his personal brand" by taking the segment online, so readers across the nation can allow Pat Kiernan to "'cut through the clutter' and compile the most relevant articles for readers each day."

• A new poll finds that one-third of Americans under 40 think The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are replacing "traditional" news outlets. [HP]
• Nickelodeon is asking kids to unplug their TVs and gadgets for a minute on Earth Day to signal "a commitment to helping the environment." Just a minute, though! Then they can go back to filling their heads with mindless junk. [AP]
• CNBC's Larry Kudlow will not be running for the Senate. Crushing! [NYT]
• Ratings for President Obama's telecast last night "showed some audience slippage compared with his two most recent live events." [THR]
• The Chicago Tribune and LA Times are combining their foreign reporters into one unit. Meanwhile, the AJC is cutting 30% of its staff. [E&P, AP]
• How is Twitter going to make money? Good question! [WSJ]
• William Morris is likely to seal a deal with Endeavor this week. [TDB]
• Verizon says it plans to launch its own local TV channel in NYC this summer. It will be just like NY1, minus the incomparable Pat Kiernan, of course. [WSJ]

The Inauguration of Barack Obama is on every channel in the world, but there is a problem: nothing will "happen" for another hour or so! So which channel should you watch to kill time until change comes?

Roger Clark, the NY1 morning reporter who is perhaps the goofiest and most endearing working journalist in America, on some of his favorite recent stories here in our dark metropolis: "I did a story about a kids fishing derby in Prospect Park [Brooklyn], and I actually caught a fish, so that was exciting. A place I enjoyed when I was growing up was the New York Aquarium, and I got to go back and get kissed by a sea lion, which is something I don't get to do every day." Any promising news pitches lately, Roger? "I got one about an international yo-yo contest and that's a possibility, that's something that I may consider covering." Surely you will! After the jump is a must-see video of Roger inexplicably breaking into a James Earl Jones impression while covering a UN meeting. And yes, we fully expect this man to save journalism:

Pat Kiernan is the aw-shucks boyish news anchor on NY1 and everybody loves him. His is the gentle face we all see first thing in the morning, easing us into the day with good cheer and sobriety. He reads from the city's newspapers in a soothing 8-minute segment every morning called "In The Papers," which has captivated thousands and thousands of people. It's really quite impossible to explain to outsiders just why Pat Kiernan is the greatest newsman in New York, except for his jolly, bumbling colleague Roger Clark. Anyhow, Doree (the nice ex-Gawker one) wrote a profile of the man for the Observer, full of interesting Kiernan trivia. Did you know he hosted The World Series Of Pop Culture on VH1? We did, because there's a clip of him reading the lyrics of "My Humps" in his competent, Canadian voice. What are you gon do with all that ass inside them jeans, Pat?:

Coverage of the Giants tickertape parade is trumping coverage of primary voting on all the New York stations. Cable news net NY1, though, has attempted to make their broadcast of ecstatic fans and slow-moving floats educational nonetheless, with Pat Kiernan making countless digressions into how the parade is blocking polling places, highlighting the unsung heroism of our fair city's sanitation department, and pointing out that many Wall Street buildings no longer have windows from which employees can toss shredded documents. [NY1]

Local girl Friday makes the big-time! NY1 political reporter and NYU grad Sandra Endo, who if we do say so ourselves, is completely adorable, has just been hired by CNN as a national correspondent. Endo just capped a decade at the local news-loop-that-could, covering our representatives' legislative (and personal) affairs. We like her for saying this to Columbia Journalism Review when asked about concierge services offered to the press during the 2004 Republican National Convention: "While it's thoughtful and ingenious for the host committee to be so considerate, I laughed at the thought of me being able to get my nails done in the middle of the convention. I think I would be fired first if I had that much down time!" Attaway. Press release, with all the usual congratulatory buzzphrases, after the jump.

Governor Spitzer will hold a press conference at 9 to recommend that the MTA hold off on a fare hike. NY1 may not cover the conference live, because the Governor's office is all the way up on the 34th floor.

Not content to let Roland Emmerich and various crazed fundamentalists do all the destroying of New York, it seems JJ Abrams, creator of "Lost" and "Felicity," has thrown his hat in the ring with a mysterious unnamed film. Previews for the flick are being shown before "Transformers" and it will open in January, 2008. (N.B. "Transformers" is, strictly speaking, the most awesome movie of our generation.) In the pirated cellphone version of the preview, I particularly enjoyed what looks like Roma Torre of NY1 bringing news of the destruction. Because that's how it's going to happen for real. One second, you're trading anal sex for an iPhone—the next, Roma Torre is bringing on the bad news and then one of the spikes from the Statue of Liberty has impaled you and your cat and pinned you both to an Ikea bookshelf so that you might count out your last empty stupid minutes together, both your glazed, soon-dull eyes reflecting only Roma and her sensible, sensible hair.

Sigh. Wouldn't it be nice if the national Republicans were as incompetent as the New York party? Or, rather, wouldn't it be nice if the national Republicans had been this incompetent before they were elected?